
I Ruined His Empire For His Undying Mistress
Chapter 1
I lay in the sterile hospital room, my body still aching from the emptiness where my baby should have been. The white walls seemed to close in around me as I clutched the thin blanket to my chest. Tears streamed down my face, but I'd learned to cry silently. Ryan hated noisy displays of emotion.
"Yes, I understand the timeline is tight," my husband's crisp voice cut through my grief. "Tell Peterson I'll review the mockups tonight."
Ryan stood by the window, his tall frame silhouetted against Manhattan's skyline. His tailored suit hadn't wrinkled despite the hours we'd spent in this room. Not that he'd spent much time by my side. The distance between us—merely ten feet of hospital flooring—felt like miles.
"Ryan," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "Could you please...?"
He held up one finger, signaling for silence, then turned his back to me. "The Johnson account is priority. Make that clear to the creative team."
I swallowed hard, tasting salt. Our baby was gone. Our tiny, precious hope had slipped away, and he was discussing mockups and timelines. The doctor had called it a spontaneous miscarriage. Nothing could have prevented it, he'd said. But in the hollow of my chest, guilt festered. Had I worked too hard? Not rested enough? Had I somehow failed at the most fundamental task of motherhood before it had even truly begun?
Ryan ended his call but immediately began scrolling through emails on his phone.
"The doctor said I can go home tomorrow," I said, desperate for any connection.
"Good," he replied without looking up. "I'll have Marissa clear my morning schedule to bring you home."
Marissa. His assistant. Not him.
I closed my eyes, too tired to argue, too broken to fight for attention I'd spent years trying to earn.
---
A week later, I stood before the bathroom mirror in our penthouse, applying concealer to the dark circles under my eyes. Sunday morning light filtered through the frosted glass window, casting everything in a soft glow that belied the heaviness in my heart.
"Ryan?" I called out, my voice echoing through our spacious bedroom. "Are you ready?"
He appeared in the doorway, already dressed in a casual but expensive button-down and slacks. "Ready for what?"
The familiar disappointment settled in my stomach. "Church. St. Patrick's. We discussed this yesterday."
His expression hardened. "Jessica, I have the quarterly reports to review. Can't you go with one of your friends?"
"I need you," I said, the words catching in my throat. "Please. After everything... I just need to light a candle. To pray. For healing."
Ryan checked his watch. "How long will this take?"
"It's mass, Ryan, not a business meeting." My voice cracked. "I'll go alone if you're too busy."
Something in my tone must have registered. Perhaps it was the edge of desperation, or maybe he recognized the threat of public appearance without him—something he always avoided. Image was everything to Ryan Carter.
"Fine," he conceded with a sigh. "But I'm bringing my tablet."
---
St. Patrick's Cathedral soared above us, its spires reaching toward heaven like prayers made stone. Inside, the vast nave was cool and dim, scented with incense and centuries of faith. I hadn't been particularly religious before, but grief had opened something in me—a yearning for comfort beyond what the material world could offer.
Ryan sat beside me in the pew, his body rigid with impatience. As the priest spoke of suffering and redemption, I felt tears gathering. When it came time for communion, Ryan remained seated, his attention fixed on his tablet, the blue glow illuminating his handsome, disinterested face.
I knelt at the altar afterward, letting my tears fall freely. "Please," I whispered to whatever might be listening. "Help me understand. Help me heal."
When I returned to our pew, Ryan was gone. Panic fluttered in my chest until I spotted him in a side chapel, his back to me. As I approached, I saw him lighting candles—two of them. His movements were reverent, almost tender, in a way I rarely witnessed.
"I didn't know you wanted to light candles too," I said softly.
He startled, nearly dropping the long taper he held. As he turned, his phone lit up in his hand. I caught a glimpse of the notification before he hurriedly pocketed the device:
"Olivia: Missing you. xoxo"
My eyes drifted to the candles he'd lit. One label was clearly visible: "For Olivia Sterling."
Ryan's face drained of color as our eyes met, and in that moment, something cold and terrible unfurled in my chest—a realization that the prayer I'd just offered might be answered in ways I never anticipated.
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