I Killed Myself, but I Did Not Die

After chasing my crush, Edward Lightwood, for ten years, he finally accepted me as his blood bound.

But, the day we were taking our eternal vow, his first love, Beth, from the allied clan was murdered by a gang of vampire hunters.

He blamed me for her loss and tormented me every day. Exposed me to the eternal sun, pierced me with wooden stakes just not enough to kill me and then locked me up in his basement.

Exhausted and heartbroken, I grabbed the oak stake and stabbed my chest in front of him.

I killed myself.

But, I did not die.

I was reborn to the day I had confessed my feelings to Edward.

But, this time, I'll not repeat my mistake. I'll stay far away from him.

I woke up gasping, the phantom sensation of sunlight burning my skin still fresh. And, when I saw the gothic manor from my window decorated and crowded, I realized I traveled back to the night when I had confessed my feelings to Edward, only to be mocked and humiliated by him in front of his friends.

It was the day Edward became the High Lord of the Clan, took vows of loyalty and integrity in front of the Clan's elders.

I stood before the ancestral gothic manor. Above the obsidian doors hung a sign etched in holy silver:

"Hounds and Sonya shall not cross."

In my past life, I stood in the rain, soaked to the bone.. And, when he emerged out of the manor clutching Beth's thin waist,I knelt before him and proposed to him only to be kicked and insulted.

"Are you blind? Can't you read the tag hanging? You sting, Sonya!" He sneered, "Get the fuck out of my sight. I don't want my mood get ruined because of you."

My gaze shifted to the white gown I had carefully prepared to wear on Edward's big day, only to be stained red as he poured a glass full of red wine on it before he leaned closer and whispered,

“If you’re that desperate to have a man warm your bed, I’ll let my friends do the honor.”

He said, pushing me toward his friend, "Try not to drive him off with your foul smell."

My chest was still burning with pure rage and humiliation when a message popped on my phone, then another and the process just carried on.

These were Edward's friends, texting me on his behalf.

'Edward is happy tonight. Do not show up in the party and ruin the night!'

'Edward is with the love of his life. You, a vicious parasite, dare not snatching it from him.'

'Just because you are favored by his parents, do not think you can have him wrapped around your fingers, bitch! His friends are there to protect him from you.'

In my past life, Edward's parents did adore me and sided with me against him everytime. In fact, when they found out Edward had insulted me in front of his friends, they cancelled their trip and came back.

They forced Edward to accept me as his blood bound as his redemption.

I wished they hadn't!

Because, after that, Edward was never the same. His dislikeness over me transformed into hatred and a simple bully took the murderous intent.

I was pulled back to present by the sound of my phone's vibration.

It was Edward's text.

"My parents are off the city, Sonya. Do not think that you will be shielded this time if do anything foolish. Better stay home! No one needs you here."

"If you were obedient, I could still manage to get along well with you."

"Don't make things hard for me than it already is!"

I stared the message on my phone's screen. He had no idea how happy I was to read it. The man I wanted to stay far away in this life, was giving me just an excuse.

He did not want me to attend his celebration?

I won't!

He thinks it's humiliating to share the same roof with me?

I'll move out.

The last thing I did that night was taking the confession letter I had spent weeks writing and burned it in the fireplace.

I watched the ink melt away, vowing that the only thing I would sacrifice this time was my love for him

And then, I packed my luggage.

To leave him for good!