I Don't Remember Loving You, Alpha

Elaine

I gave Liz my full attention as she told me the highlights of the events that shaped my present life. "After you got married, you kept trying to please Alpha Tristan, bending over backward to gain his affection. But he always disregarded you and your feelings. He didn’t care if you were hurting, didn’t care if you were sick. In fact, he continually slighted and ignored you in favor of his mistress, Megan. It’s sad, but your husband has never loved you, Bestie, and he hasn’t treated you well, either."

Liz continued as time slipped by. My heart twisted with every word, each revelation a fresh wound.

"After you got married you kept trying to please Alpha Tristan, bending over backward to gain his affection. But he...He didn’t care whether you were hurting or not. Whenever you were sick, instead of taking care of you, Tristan would go out to meet Megan. Your Alpha husband never loved you, Bestie. It’s sad, but that’s how your life was in the past five years."

I could barely believe all I’d heard. Had I really loved Tristan so much that I allowed him to treat me like that? I may have been nothing more than a maid, but that didn’t excuse for the injustice I experienced. It seemed I had poured my heart and soul into a marriage that was nothing but a facade. It felt like a desperate attempt to hold onto something that was never truly mine.

"And your personality," Liz continued, her voice laced with sorrow, "it changed. You became more and more paranoid. You became depressed, and often delusional. You became secluded as well, even from me."

The bitter laughter that bubbled up from my throat tasted of regret. How could I have become this she-wolf that Liz was telling me about? How could I have allowed Tristan to transform me into someone so pitiful? It wasn’t about my status, either. It seemed I had more self-respect as a maid than as his Luna. Was there any hope of reclaiming the she-wolf I used to be?

“What’s your plan now?” Liz asked.

I took a deep breath, “I want to get back to who I was.”

Liz seemed very excited. “You know what,” Liz said, “I'll always be there for you no matter whatever choice you're about to make. Now, let me get the doctor so he can check on you.”

“Thank you, Liz,” I said.

My warrior best friend gave me a wink before leaving the room. Once she was gone, I allowed the tears to flow, allowed myself to mourn the pitiful she-wolf I had become after marrying Tristan.

“Don’t cry, Elaine,” Neeya whispered inside my head. “You’re no longer alone. Me and Liz will be with you every step of the way.”

I smiled. Neeya was right, and I no longer felt alone. And for sure, it would change the course of my marriage to the Alpha, now that I was woken up from the shackles of unrequited love he bound me with her reassurance.

The doctor visited my hospital room, letting me know I was ready to be discharged. Relief and fear filled me. Leaving the hospital meant going back to the alpha mansion and facing Tristan, and I didn’t know what to expect.

The doctor drew my attention once more. "You still need to rest, Luna Elaine. Your body needs time to get strong again," he said in a serious tone.

After he departed, Liz and I thanked the doctor as we gathered my things, feeling both nervous and left the hospital together. I remained quiet, Liz’s words about my marriage echoing in my mind, making me unsure of what awaited me at home.

Tristan hadn’t visited me in the hospital, confirming Liz’s stories about our loveless relationship. It wasn’t that I’d thought she lied. I had just hoped she had been exaggerating. But his wife had been hospitalized after an auto accident, and he didn’t even bother with a single visit? That destroyed any hope I had that Tristan cared for me at all.

"This is it,” Liz said when we arrived at the alpha mansion.

The mansion was huge and beautiful, with fancy decorations all around. The surrounding gardens were well-maintained, with quaint walking paths. Stepping out of the car, I stared in wonder. It looked so impressively luxurious. It felt surreal to realize I used to work here. Yet, I seemed to have forgotten what it looked like.

“Are you ready for this, Bestie?” Liz asked as we unloaded my things.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile. “As if I have a choice.”

A few minutes later, I stepped into the house, thinking I might still be able to find happiness somehow. Life as a luna couldn’t be that bad. Could it?

Liz helped me settle into my bedroom and smiled at me reassuringly before she left. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I sure will.”

Once she was gone, the house felt empty and quiet, giving off a lonely vibe. Even though the mansion was luxurious and I felt terribly alone. I wasn’t alone, however. Approaching footsteps echoed, stirring a sense of unease within me. The voice that followed was enough to make my heart race with nervous anticipation.

"So, you're back." The words pierced the air with icy coldness, sending a chill through the room.

Slowly, I turned to face Tristan himself, my husband and the Alpha of the Wolfsilver Pack.