How You Ruin Me Twice

Ava

The moment the doors closed behind me, I knew it was a mistake. The house did not fall short of my expectations. Sleek, expansive. And quiet in a way that felt expensive.

Floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the city with lights that seemed to stretch on forever.

Untouchable.

Just like him.

“You can leave.” He said suddenly.

“What?” I asked, as I turned around.

“The door is still there. If you think this was a mistake.”

It wasn’t conceit, nor rudeness. It wasn’t polite nor was it inviting. It was something I had not encountered before.

“Then why did you bring me here?” I swallowed. “If you thought I would leave?”

“I wanted to see if you would.”

“And?”

“You’re still here.”

There was something about the way he said it. Not victory, not triumph. Something more… complicated.

“I don’t do this…” I said, more to myself than him.

“Neither do I.”

A laugh escaped me.

“What?” He asked.

“I find it hard to believe that.”

“You don’t have to.”

He steps closer, slow, calm, measured.

He’s giving me time to pull away. The right thing to do. But I don’t.

“You’re overthinking this.” He says.

“I’m not thinking enough.”

Because if I was, I would be gone.

Six years. Six years of living behind the walls I had built around myself. Closing myself off to everyone around me. Only Noah mattered, and that was enough.

But now, these walls were breaking. I watched helplessly as they did.

One man.

One night.

“You’re still deciding.” His voice cut through my thoughts.

“I have to make sure I’m not the same girl from back then. I have to make sure I’m not making the same mistake twice.”

“Someone hurt you.” It was calm, soothing.

“That’s not your concern.”

“It’s affecting your decision right now. It is very much my concern.”

He stepped closer.

“I’m not sure about this, Liam. I’d be lost if this ended badly.”

“How are you sure you already aren’t? You live for everyone but yourself.” He was closer now. “I recognize it, because…”

“Because you’re the same.” I responded.

We were in that moment again. At the gala. Nothing mattered, nothing existed, just us. Two people who understood each other more than they dared to admit.

I was in his arms again, but I didn’t pull away. I couldn’t. Because I wanted it just as bad as he did, if not more.

“This is a mistake,” I said, my heart pounding.

“I know.”

“But you aren’t stopping.”

“You’re not asking me to.”

The space between us vanished.

Our lips locked, his hand held me gently, as he pulled me in even closer.

I felt his heat, his presence, his warmth. Something exploded inside me.

It had been long.

It had been too long.

He worked the robes behind my back, and I worked on removing his suit.

I was soon freed from my gown. And like a feather, he lifted me in the air, and carried me deeper into the house.

Our lips never separated. His tongue ran through my mouth hungrily, starved.

He kicked open the door to his bedroom, and lay me gently on the bed. I took off my underwear, and he did the same. Revealing his tumescent hardness.

I blushed in spite of myself.

His lips found mine again, and his fingers were exploring.

I ran my hands across his back and against his rock hard body.

God, he had a great build!

He cupped my breasts lightly, and brushed his thumbs against my nipples. I moaned, softly, as I arched my back.

He went in.

Smooth, gentle, careful. I held on to him tightly, and he went in again, and again.

His speed increased. And with every thrust came the explosion. The sensation I had yearned for, but repressed.

He was moving faster now, taking me with him on his journey to inexplicable bliss. Grabbed onto the sheets around me, as the pleasure was too much to contain. I moaned at his thrusts, willing them to go faster. Harder.

As though reading my mind, he obliged.

He was faster now, but still careful. Thrusting harder, and yet gentle.

And I was nearly at my peak. And he didn’t stop. And he kept going, and it was faster, and faster, and better, until I lost all feeling for a second. Until every inch of me felt it. The indescribable sensation of bliss.

And it filled me. As though stored forever, he released, and released, holding me firmly, as his balls contracted again and again. And then it was over.

He lay weakly on the bed beside me, his tumescence still in me.

He was out of breath, but he was making an effort not to show it.

I touched his face gently, brushing my thumb against it, the face that held nothing but conceit and indifference since I had met him. Was just a facade to conceal the vulnerable man beneath.

“Do you still think this was a mistake?” He asked, staring at me with eyes full of something I hadn’t seen before.

“Yes. But it’s a mistake I don’t regret making.”

And we lay there, each one staring at the other, eyes and hearts full of emotion. And soon, something else.

I wanted to feel it again.

“Sit up.” I said, as I left my position.

He did not protest. He let me lead him to the headboard, and I sat him up against it.

I took his member in my hands, and watched it grow tumescent again. Then I sat on it.

I moved with care, with caution, moving against him with rhythm.

His left hand was wrapped around my waist, and his right gripped the sheets firmly.

I increased the speed, and a low groan came from deep inside him. I rested one arm on the headboard, and another on his face.

I looked into his eyes, and there was no mistaking what was in them.

I closed the distance between us, and locked lips with him, moving at an even faster speed now.

He was reaching deep inside of me, and I pulled away at the raw sensation, hitting my center again and again. I arched my back, running my hand through my hair, removing it from my face as I bounced in him repeatedly.

Once again, I was nearing it, the point of inexplicable bliss.

Liam pulled me in, holding me tightly, as he groaned softly.

He exploded holding me tightly against himself, and so did I.

We soon separated, laying side by side, gasping for air.

Neither of us said a word. We quietly gathered our thoughts, as I wondered how long I had wanted this.

Lying to myself was a part of keeping my feelings safe. It was a part of keeping people out. But now that the walls had finally been torn down, I could be honest.

Had I always wanted Liam?

Liam was soon ready again, and with a ravenous hunger, he entered me. Pulsating as he reached deeper and deeper.

“Oh…fuck.” He exclaimed unconsciously.

I moved with his rhythm, giving in to the pleasure coming from my center. “Oh, I’ve wanted this for so long…”

Soon, we were at the highest peaks again, and gasping for air.

Our rest did not last long. Because soon, we were ready to go again.

***

I open my eyes, and morning light is spilling through the windows. I’m alone.

For a moment

I don’t move, don’t think, don’t feel.

I sit up, and the other side of the bed is empty.

Cold.

Like he was never there at all.

And just like that,

I had made the same mistake twice.