Hope Mired in Regret

The second I hit the button to end the recording, I slumped onto the table. My tears messed up the makeup on my face.

I saved the video and fiddled with the settings for it to send at a set time.

I set it so that it would be sent after three days.

If I was dead by then, this video would be my final testament.

If I was still alive…

No, I would not make it until then.

I could feel my life ebbing from my body bit by bit.

My savings in the metal box and Jonah’s 100 thousand dollars totaled up to 143 thousand dollars.

I took out a piece of paper and wrote the number of Rachelle’s attending doctor on it.

I stuck the slip of paper to the back of my phone.

After doing all that, I went back to lie down on my bed and clutched the plush teddy Jonah had given me.

The teddy was very old, and some of its stuffing was coming out.

It was raggedy and barely worth anything, just like me.

However, my kidney had to be perfect.

I needed to make sure that it would be delivered into Rachelle’s body in pristine condition.

The final day came quicker than I imagined.

It was raining heavily that day and thunder rumbled loudly, shaking the underground room.

Lying in bed, I could hardly feel the pain anymore. My body was light and floaty, as if my soul was already half out of it.

My vision began to blur and go dark.

I knew that my time was up.

However, I could not die here. The room was too secluded, and the landlord only came once a month to collect the rent.

If I died here, my corpse would be rotting by the time someone found me. My kidney would be useless by then.

Rachelle was still at the hospital waiting for me to save her. I had to go to the hospital.

With the last of my strength, I rolled and fell out of bed.

I had lost sensation in my legs, so it was impossible for me to stand up. I could only crawl.

I was like a paralyzed dog. I used my arms to hold myself up from the floor and dragged myself slowly toward the door.

I had to travel five blocks.

It was usually a five-minute walk.

The journey was more like a marathon at this point.

I pushed open the door, and the storm instantly drenched my red dress.

The icy rain lashed my face and woke me up a little.

There were not many people on the street, and only the occasional passing car splashed up water from the road.

I crawled over a muddy pothole and over the coarse concrete. My arms were grazed, and my blood mixed with the rainwater.

However, I did not feel any pain at all.

I only had one thought in my mind: I had to keep moving forward, just a little bit more.

“Hey, is that a person?”

A couple sharing an umbrella was passing me by.

“Don’t be nosy. She’s probably drunk. Just look at her!”

“You’re right. She’s all dressed up. There must be something wrong with her.”

They walked faster and did not spare me a second glance.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. My throat was a mess of clotted blood.

But that was fine. I did not need anyone to help me. It only mattered that someone would see me and send me to the emergency room.

I saw the sign for the hospital through the rain. In the darkness, it shone like hope.

It was just a block away.

I dug my finger in the cracks of the pavement, and two of my nails fell out.

It was just half a block away.

My vision went completely dark. I could only rely on my instincts as I pulled myself forward.

‘Rachelle, I’m coming,’ I thought.

I had finally gotten myself to the automatic doors of the emergency room lobby.

The doors sensed my presence and opened. The warmth greeted me.

With the last of my strength, I pulled out the waterproof bag from around my neck and clutched it in my hand.

Then, I fell into darkness.

The second I collapsed, I heard the shrill scream of a nurse.

“Someone, help! A woman fainted at the door!”

“Goodness, that’s blood! Get a stretcher!”

Someone had found me.

‘I’ve won this round, Rachelle,’ I thought.