HIS UNWORTHY MATE

~JADE~

The whip whistled through the air as it came down on me, cutting through my skin effortlessly with a bitter sting that only became harsher with each lash. I had to stop counting somewhere along the way, unable to focus on anything else aside from the fiery-hot pain that seared through my body with every merciless stroke of the whip. 

My vision blurred with welled-up tears; despite the tears raining down my cheeks, more water welled in my eyes, and it wouldn't stop pouring. All my attempts to simply dissociate from this very moment seemed futile. All I could think and feel was pain in my back, my arm, and every part of my skin that the whip lashed. Despite my tears, the only satisfaction I didn't give Hunter or the audience gathered around was my cries. 

I bit back every moan, swallowing around every choked sound of anguish that threatened to spill out of me. My body flamed in agony, and each blow from the whip propelled my frame forward. The stench of blood filled the air, and the open wounds on my skin only hurt more as my sweat seeped through the fresh cuts. Still, I clamped my lips shut, refusing to let out the cries of horror that rumbled through my chest. My knees quaked as the whip landed on my left shoulder, and my body jerked forward, a subconscious attempt to escape the onslaught of pain. 

The tears in my eyes created a thick fog over my vision, and I wished so badly that the fog would take over my mind so that it could numb my body from this pain. Another failed attempt to pull my mind away from this moment. Try hard as I may; it just wouldn't happen, and I cursed the stars because such pain as this wasn't new to me.

Aunt Diwa might not have hit me with whips, but that doesn't mean she never hit me with any available object. Inflicting pain on me was her way of reminding me who owned my body. In the early years, when she started hitting me, I would cry, become hysterical, and plead for her to stop, but over time, I became used to the pain. My body always welcomed the stinging bite that came from her cutting me up with silver blades. It became easier to dissociate and numb my mind to the pain. 

Closing my eyes and ignoring the pain came so easily to me, and I would let go. Each time she hit me, cut me, or hurt me, I would feel myself leave my body as I let go and watched from the outside, and doing that meant I could daydream about a better place. Closing my eyes and numbing out the pain meant I could envision myself with a better future-a future that didn't include Aunt Diwa. It was a future where I had succeeded and escaped her abuse, and that made welcoming the pain easier. Because welcoming the pain she inflicted meant I could dream of a day where I would find love, and sometimes I craved the pain. Perhaps other times I acted out or rebelled just so she could hurt me, because only then was I able to dream of a life without pain; only then could I dream of a life where I was treated better and someone else cherished me. By some miracle I ended up having that life for two years only to have it ripped away from me overnight. 

And right now, in this moment, it was impossible to numb the pain because there was nothing to daydream about, no future where I could wish for a better life because this was my better life. Being back in this pack was my better place; being mated to Hunter and experiencing his love for two years was the better life I had always wished for, but now that better life has served me unimaginable pain, one I couldn't pull myself from because there is no hope, and nothing good succeeds this. 

'Let me.' Levana requested, pushing through my mental walls.

'You should protect the baby; this will pass soon.' I replied, shaking my head at her request. 

'The baby is fine; you're not doing fine. I won't be able to do much for the baby if you end up collapsing from the pain. Let me take over; I can handle the pain better, and when this is over, you can take back control.' she suggested again. 

'Being on the surface will also help me heal your wounds faster; the faster the fresh wounds on your body close up, the lesser the risk of getting infected.' Levana added, and I gave up the argument as I let her take over. A sigh of relief pushed past my lips as Levana moved to the surface, and the pain radiating through my body almost became a distant memory. 

With my wolf on the surface, the remaining part of the ordeal went by quickly. One of the guards dragged Levana upright, and she winced. If the elder noticed that my wolf was now present from the change in my eye colour, he didn't say a word. The elder addressed the crowd; for the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on whatever he was saying. 

I watched from the back seat of my mind as the elder walked down the platform's steps, moving with fluid ease to the fireplace made out of a stack of river rocks. He picked up a branding rod with a flat surface made of silver, pulling it out from the fire. The flat front of the branding rod glowed with a red, fiery heat as he held it up. 

Fear racked through my entire body as the elder began moving, and he continued up the steps leading to the platform, stopping beside me. 

"This is a lesson and a warning to anyone who ever harbours the thought of tainting their mate bond; know that you will meet the same fate as Jade Dimaano." He muttered before turning to face me. 

My mind rioted violently as the hot rod stood inches away from my face. The instinct to fight against this slammed into me, and I almost fought Levana for control. 'Don't panic. I've got this; just pretend like this isn't happening. I'll take the pain; I can handle it.' Levana reassured me, pushing back against my fight for control, and I eased back. 

The elder waved the rod around in our faces as he continued to address the crowd for another minute, and I tuned most of it out as I tried to fight back the fear that enveloped my entire soul. The heat from the fiery rod inches away from my face nicked at my cheeks, an obvious testament to what was about to happen. 

Without a sign of remorse or hesitation, the elder placed the hot silver rod directly above Hunter's mark that stood between my shoulder and my neck, and he pressed it harshly into my skin. "This is the evidence of your sins, a reminder of your actions, and you will live the rest of your days as a reject, knowing you are unwanted and unworthy of love." 

My body exploded with a throbbing ache equivalent to the feeling of a million hot nails digging into me and burning through my flesh. Levana bit my lower lip as the rod slid deeper into my skin, causing my entire body to shake. A coppery and steaky smell of meat turned over, the flames of a grill filled the air, and nausea hit me. 

"Untie her and get her ready for her dance of shame." The elder instructed with a grating voice as he pulled the rod away from my skin and stepped back. 

Levana wobbled as the guards tried to stand us upright once more. Despite her taking most of the pain, I still felt an enormous amount of it, and it was mind-breaking. The guards more or less dragged us down the platform's steps, and Levana turned to face Hunter. 

"Now you can be with your perfect Arya," Levana murmured with wobbly lips before the guards dragged us through the throng of pack members.