His Diary and My Choice

"Leonard, take Liv to try on the gowns," ordered Samuel Burton, Leonard's father. "Pick them out on your own. We'll leave this to you guys."

Leonard stood up and offered a hand to me. I stared at his slender fingers and thought of how he had described his yearning for another woman in his diary with these exact hands.

"I'll always remember the sight of Lena standing at the pier. The sea breeze lifted the hem of her floral dress as she wept uncontrollably.

"Sometimes, when I look at the person next to me, I wonder if my life now would be different if I hadn't lost my memory or hadn't met Lena."

These words were like knives stabbing into my heart, and I was bleeding from the gaping wounds.

"Sure." I smiled sweetly and held his arm.

I could feel how stiff his body was, but I pretended not to notice anything.

I provided an address after getting into the car. It was the most high-end bridal shop in the city. I had tried on the gowns there in my past life for a whole day, believing that I was the happiest bride in the world.

"I heard that there are some new designs at the shop. Let's have a look." I tilted my head and looked at him. "Leonard, what's your preferred style?"

He gripped the steering wheel slightly tighter. "Anything you like," he said simply.

I held back my tears and turned to look out the window.

I wouldn't marry Leonard in this life.

During the gown fitting, another woman happened to be trying on gowns too.

She wore a simple mermaid tail gown that accentuated her curvy figure.

Her gaze fell upon Leonard for a brief moment when we entered. Then, she greeted me warmly.

"What a coincidence! Are you guys here for a gown fitting too?" She was quick to get comfortable with us and came closer. "I'm Yelena Lynch. I'm getting married next month."

I sized the woman up. She had a pair of expressive eyes that curled up slightly when she smiled, and she looked alluring.

I wondered why I hadn't noticed the feelings she harbored in the way she looked at Leonard in my past life.

"Yeah," I replied with a smile. "I'm Olivia Smith. This is my fiancé, Leonard Burton."

Yelena cast her gaze upon Leonard again and stared at him slightly longer than before.

Leonard, on the other hand, stood to the side and seemed to be in a trance.

"My fiancé treats me really well." Yelena couldn't stop talking as she tugged at me.

"He remembered the first time we met and would send me white roses every month. Just last week I mentioned that I wanted to eat the cake from a bakery on the east side of the city, and he deliberately traveled all the way after getting off work to buy it."

I noticed Leonard's fingers curling up slightly. I knew him well enough to know that happened whenever he got emotional.

In my past life, I had thought he was nervous because of our wedding. Now, I finally understood that he was merely suppressing his jealousy.

"What about you?" Leonard suddenly asked, his voice slightly hoarse. "Do you love him?"

Yelena was stunned. The smile on her face froze for a moment.

She subconsciously looked at Leonard, and a panicked look flashed across her eyes.

"O-Of course," she replied as she feigned a look of calmness, but her fingers couldn't help grabbing the hem of her dress.

Leonard scoffed, his gaze sharp.

I stood to the side and pretended to look composed as I watched the scene unfold.

How foolish I had been in my past life to not notice something happening between them.

After I tried on the gowns, Leonard left in a hurry after saying that something urgent had come up at the office.

I made an excuse to go to the restroom, but I followed him behind secretly.

In the parking lot, I saw Leonard pinning Yelena against the wall and kissing her forcefully.

Initially, Yelena tried to push him away, but she soon slumped in his embrace.

"It's obvious that you don't love him." Leonard sounded like he was suppressing his anger. "Why are you marrying him?"

Yelena choked up as she questioned, "What about you? Aren't you getting married too?"

"That's different…" Leonard lowered his volume. Then, the two started kissing again.

It felt like someone was clutching my heart. It was so painful that I was suffocating.

I stumbled backward and leaned against the cold wall. Tears kept rolling down uncontrollably.

I recalled a certain event that happened when I was five years old. It had been Leonard's first time visiting my house.

He was clad in a dashing suit. Acting like an adult, he held my hand and said cutely, "You're beautiful. I want to marry you in the future."

At that time, he didn't even know what a marriage of convenience was. He had simply adored me.

He had even gone around the city in search of a hair accessory I liked.

There was a time when I had my eyes on a crystal hair clip. He had immediately gone around the city with his chauffeur to look for the same one. In the end, he had found it in a store in a secluded area. His leather shoes had been torn from all the walking too.

When I was sick and had a fever, he would sneak into my room and stay by my side all day and night.

The adults had caught him once, but he declared righteously, "I want to take care of my future wife!"

Samuel had burned with fury because of that.

Leonard would also prepare surprises with all his heart for every occasion.

When I was ten, he had made me a music box himself with our photo in it for Christmas. A beautiful tune would be played when I wound it up.

He had told me to keep it safe, for it was a token of our love.

Leonard had even planted a weeping willow tree in my backyard on my 16th birthday, saying he wanted to hold our wedding under that very tree.

At that time, he only had eyes for me, and I mistakenly thought it would remain that way forever.

After returning home, I burned everything that held our memories.

I stood in the backyard and stared at the weeping willow tree that had grown so tall. I then retrieved the gasoline cans and poured the liquid at the tree's base.

The scorching flames cast a red hue on my face.

All the promises and precious memories of our youth would be burned to ashes by this raging fire.

Then, I decisively threw the music box into the fire and watched as it melted slowly.

Those gifts holding all the memories I had once treasured were thrown into the flames, one after another.

Finally, I removed my engagement ring from my finger. The diamond glistened in my hands. The glint it reflected was as cold as Leonard's gaze the last time he looked at me.

I tossed it into the fire without hesitation and watched the fire engulf it.

The fire died down gradually, leaving behind only ashes on the ground.

I stood amidst the remains, and I had never felt this relieved before.

Those memories and our agonizing past that used to haunt me had all but vanished in this fire.