His Darkness, My Desire

I open my mouth only to close it again, shaking my head quickly as I take a step back from the sink.

Lucas closes the door behind him and reaches into his pocket, and my heart accelerates when he turns, pulling a set of keys out and locking the door.

How the hell does he have a key for the bathroom here?

He turns back and starts to walk towards me slowly, and I back up again, feeling suffocated, trapped in a room with him.

I hold my breath as he reaches me, extending his hand out to grasp my camera strap, removing it from my shoulder, and placing my camera carefully on the bathroom counter.

"I finally got you away from that annoying boyfriend of yours," he hums, reaching to put his hands on my hips as he turns me and starts to back me up towards one of the toilet stalls.

"Lucas.... what are you doing?" I ask nervously, feeling my heart slam against my chest as he leads us inside the stall and locks the door behind him.

Not this shit again.

This is bad.

Bad bad bad.

"Taking a trip down memory lane," he raises and drops his brows as he takes hold of my hips again, turning us until my back is facing the door. "Do you remember the last time we were here?"

I swallow as I take a step back from him, trying to create whatever distance I can. "Yes, but I shouldn't be here; Andy's probably looking for me."

Lucas shakes his head, clicking his tongue as he reaches over to brush my hair over my shoulder. "Can I tell you something about that boyfriend of yours, love?"

"Even if I say no, you're going to tell me anyway," I reply, shocked at myself that I even said that.

Lucas's eyes light up as he laughs, "You've gotten feisty over the last couple of years, I like that - and you're correct by the way."

His face drops to a serious expression as he closes the gap between us, his eyes focusing on mine, and I'm back to feeling paralyzed.

"I'm just letting you know, Evelyn, if he ever touches you like that again, he's a dead man."

I pull my face back, staring at him in shock, "You can't be serious."

Lucas lifts his brows, challenging me with them, "Just try me, sweetheart, and find out."

My lips part as my pulse continues to hammer through my body. He can't honestly mean that literally, can he? No one just walks around threatening to kill people so casually; that would be psychotic.

He's just exaggerating.

"You have no idea how lucky he was that I was in a good mood tonight," he continues, searching his eyes across my face.

"Why were you in a good mood?" I ask, knowing it's the opposite of what I should be asking right now.

I should be questioning the fact that he just threatened my boyfriend like he was talking about ordering food, but as usual, my brain always malfunctions around him.

The corners of Lucas's lips dip down as he shrugs casually, "I took my medicine."

I look to him, even more puzzled, "You're on medication?"

Lucas grins, biting back a laugh, "No, I'm not."

I'm so fucking confused right now. Everything with this man is a damn riddle.

Lucas sniffs, rubbing his finger under his nose, and it's then I notice something that drains all the colour from my face.

I reach my hands out to grip the lower part of Lucas's white dress shirt, looking with worried eyes at the blood splattered over it. "Oh my god! Are you hurt? Lucas, what the hell happened?"

His hands snap straight to mine, pulling them from his shirt and keeping a hold of them. I look to his face to see his brows drop and his lips pressed into a flat line, a look that almost resembles panic.

The expression only lasts for a split second before he smiles, laughing under his breath, "Calm down, love, it's part of the costume, it's not real."

I look back at the blood on his shirt, wondering what the hell that has to do with a devil costume, and wondering why I didn't notice it when I saw him earlier.

The red lighting.

That has to be it; that must be why I never saw it.

Lucas grips my chin, making me look at him, and pouts his bottom lip out; however, his eyes hold that smug look he wears so well. "Aw, we're worried about my little mouse?"

"No," I reply so quickly I could slap myself. "No, I wasn't worried, I just, I didn't know what happened."

Lucas talks with a click of his tongue, scowling playfully, "Lying isn't very nice, and you're terrible at it."

I keep trying to ignore the prickling all over my body at how close he is, the feel of his fingers against my skin, how I'm getting sucked straight back into that black hole where everything about him consumes me.

I pull my face away from his hand, holding on to the last bit of resolve I have. I'm sick of never getting a straight answer from this man, never knowing what's going on with him, and feeling like a blind person stumbling through an empty room trying to find a way out.

"Why am I here tonight, Lucas?" I dare to ask

He tilts his head, squinting his eyes briefly. "You're here to take photographs," he states as if that were a dumb question.

I let out a frustrated huff, my irritation bubbling over into a frantic rant of questions, "But why? Why did you organize for me to come here tonight? Why did you want to see me again? Why do you care about my photography? How do you know the owner? Why do you have keys to this damn bathroom? Why are we locked in this fucking bathroom all over again, and why the hell do you even care what my boyfriend does with me?"

Lucas looks stoned-faced as I fire my questions at him, lifting his hand once I managed to take a breath to ask if I was finished.

I raise my brows back at him expectantly, folding my arms over my chest.

His eyes flick over my face as he purses his lips thoughtfully, but then he just shrugs his brows. "Why does it matter to you?"

I let out a frustrated growl, throwing my hands down by my side.

"You know what? I'm leaving - I'm so beyond fucking done with you, Lucas." I snap, yet again shocked at my behavior, I never act like this, Lucas always seems to bring out these parts of me.

I push his chest, shoving him back from me as I turn away from him to unlock the door, but my actions are stopped abruptly when he grabs my shoulders and pushes me back against it, and I let out a surprised yelp.

He wraps his large hand around the underside of my jaw, his brows creased deeply, and his nose twitches in a slight snarl.

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, and I'm only telling you this once - don't ever put your hands on me like that again," he grits out through his teeth.

I gulp in fear, caught off guard by the threatening tone in his voice. "I'm - I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you, I don't know why I did that."

Lucas shakes his head, leaning his face closer, "What did I tell you about sorry being a useless word?"

"I...uh..." My sentence dies in my throat, completely stuck on what to say.

I keep my hands firmly pressed against my sides, trying to stop the trembling going through them over the dark look in his eyes.

"I don't dislike your boyfriend because I care about you," he points out, caressing his thumb across my jaw.

"I didn't think-"

"I'm just making sure you know, I don't care about you, Evelyn," he interrupts

"I dislike him because he's a fucking pathetic moron, and you deserve someone so much better than him."

Well, you don't have to rub it in, Jesus, point taken.

I frown. "Better as in dating someone like you?"

Lucas smiles, leaning his face forward to nudge his nose against mine. "No love, someone like me would ruin your life. I'm not the boyfriend type. I could just give you other things that you wanted for a little while."

I suck in a sharp breath, urging myself to keep speaking.

"So why does it matter then?" I ask bravely, using his favourite phrase back at him.

"Because you fascinate me, Evelyn, you're the one puzzle I can't seem to figure out - you're like an itch I can't scratch, you and that purity of yours gets under my skin, and I have no idea how you do it," he says lowly, pressing a faint kiss to the corner of my mouth.

My skin boils as I try to control my breathing. "Lucas," I gasp, "We shouldn't be - this shouldn't be happening, I can't do this."

I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I chant inside my head.

I need to leave, I should leave, why am I not fucking leaving?

He removes his hand from my jaw, taking both his hands and running them slowly down my arms as he drags his lips along my jaw. "Mmm, you can do anything you want, but you don't, do you? You just do what you're told."

"I..ah!" I gasp again as Lucas attaches his lips to my neck, kissing a slow, wet trail down my skin.

"I can't forget you, and it drives me insane," he murmurs, moving his lips back to my ear. "Does that boyfriend give you what you want?"

"Does he know about that little devil inside of you, angel?" he rasps as he grips my wrists and pins them above my head.

My blood scorches through my body as my stomach twists itself into a knot that tightens its almost painful, and I squeeze my eyes closed, trying with everything I can to fight words out of my throat "I can't do this to him, this is wrong, I can't-"

I could beat the crap out of my own body for betraying me right now, reacting to him the way it always does.

"Shhhh," he interrupts, hushing me, "Just tell me, it'll be our little secret." he presses another kiss to the shell of my ear.

He pins both of my wrists with one large hand, wrapping the other around my throat as he whispers hoarsely against my lips, "Does he give you the things you want like this baby?"

My oxygen is leaving my body in short, heaving huffs as I keep my eyes closed, too scared to open them, knowing that seeing those damning eyes will snap any self-control I have left.

How is he doing these things to me?

"Answer me, Evelyn," he growls, "Can he do the things I can do for you?"

I swallow the dry feeling in my mouth, pressing my lips together as I shake my head, hoping that will be enough.

Lucas let go of my wrists and neck, pulling back, and I peeked my eyes open to see him staring at me with a wide grin. "See, that wasn't so hard to admit now, was it?"

My brows furrow as I press myself further back against the door, every nerve ending in my body firing at the same time as I try to control the shattered state he has me in.

"I can't do this, Lucas, this can't happen again." I rush out in panic, guilt already digging its claws firmly into the depths of my chest.

Andy trusts me; he loves me. I've betrayed him by being anywhere near Lucas.

He laughs, bringing his hand up to flick at the halo perched on my head. "You need to stop trying so hard to be one of these loves, stop trying to be the good girl all the time. Come to the dark side, it's fun."

My lips part to speak, but I stop when he slips the halo from my head, removing the devil horns from his own and swapping them, smirking as he places the horns on my head.

The image of this man with a fluffy white halo sat atop his head is the most contradictory thing I've ever seen in my life.

I can't help the thought running through my head again, even Satan was an angel in the beginning.

How fitting.

"We all have urges in us, little mouse. There's nothing wrong with acting on them," he says, lowering his eyes at me as he toys with his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger.

"Yes, there is, it's wrong when it hurts people," I say firmly.

Lucas's face falters slightly, but he composes his usual demeanor quickly. "Pain is necessary; some people deserve it."

"Well, I don't like hurting people," I fire back.

"No," he smiles, "You don't, and that is what makes us very different people."

I look at Lucas in disbelief, disturbed by his statement, "You enjoy hurting people?"

Lucas pauses, his brows creasing before he shakes his head, as if he's battling with himself over something.

He sucks his lower lip into his mouth before releasing it and going back to that same smirk that can manage to infuriate and intoxicate me at the same time.

"Be honest with yourself for once, do you want me, Evelyn? Because I know I want you." he dismisses my question, raising his brow.

"I...Lucas, I can't, I can't see you again after tonight."

My heart feels like it falls to my feet, and I can't quite place why that hurt to say.

Lucas's jaw ticks as he tenses it, his shoulders becoming stiff. "Is that what your little boyfriend told you?"

"No - No, he didn't." I rush out, shaking my head frantically, "I... just, I can't be around you."

"You're a terrible liar, remember?" his lip twitches in irritation as he moves closer to me, "Well, I've got some unfortunate news for him."

He lowers his eyes to my level, flicking them back and forth between mine with an insidious glare. "I'm not you, Evelyn, no one tells me what to do, and when I know what I want, no one gets in the way of that."

I breathe out sharply when he leans forward, my brows creasing when I hear the lock to the toilet door and look down to see that he's flicked it open.

He steps back away from me, gesturing his hand to the door. "You should probably go find him, make sure he isn't curled up crying somewhere."

I turn, pulling the door open quickly, stepping out of the stall with Lucas following close behind me.

I grab my camera as Lucas takes the keys from his pocket again and unlocks the main bathroom door.

He steps back from it, as I go to grab the handle, keeping my eyes focused on the floor and trying my hardest just to get out of the same room as him as quickly as possible.

I can't concentrate; everything that's happened since he crashed back into my life in less than 24 hours has flipped everything upside down.

I can't think straight when I'm near him.

As I go to open the door, Lucas wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me back against his hard chest, and I could scream at the fact that I'm relishing how he feels pressed against me.

I've lost my fucking mind.

He leans his face down next to mine as he pulls his devil horns from my head, placing them on the sink, and pushes my halo into my hand.

"We don't want lover boy getting any ideas now, do we?" he whispers.

He presses one last kiss to my neck, lingering his lips there before he pulls away, and I don't dare turn around.

"I need to go," I say quickly, ripping the door open.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Evelyn," is all I hear as I fly from the bathroom, walking as fast as my feet would carry me up the corridor.

I feel sick.

I can't see him again, not after tonight.

I need to get Andy, and I need to leave and never come back.

This was a mistake.

I hate myself for letting things go as far as they did, but I know the truth is deep down, I know I hate myself the most because Lucas was right.

I need to put a stop to this now. I have the devil knocking at my door, and there is no way I'm letting him in.