His Darkness, My Desire

"Honey, this really isn't a good idea. Have you heard about this place?" Andy says apprehensively, adjusting his red sweater. "I've been there once before," I try to reassure him, concentrating on making sure I don't snap an ankle walking in these heels. "Why would you ever go somewhere like that?" he asks incredulously. I try tugging down the hem of my white skirt, but the damn thing keeps riding up my thighs. I don't even know what possessed me to wear this outfit. Oh, right, it was Lucas. "I went with Sophie a few years ago, that's where I met my friend," I explain, adjusting my camera strap on my shoulder as we continue the short walk to the club from the taxi rank. "Is Sophie going to be there tonight?" he asks, and even though he masks it well, I still pick up on the distasteful tone in his voice. He's never really liked my friendship with Sophie; he calls her a bad influence. "She said she might be." I give him a tight smile, trying to hide my irritation. He let out a heavy sigh. "Wonderful, so who is this guy anyway? You've never mentioned him before today." "Just an old friend I met when I first moved here, we hadn't seen each other again until today," I say vaguely, almost feeling I'm adopting Lucas's mannerisms for answering questions. I feel guilty leaving out the great details about who Lucas is, or how I actually know him. Andy would have never agreed to let me come tonight if he ever found out I'd had a one-night stand with him; Andy thinks they're abhorrent. But Lucas is just a friend now, if you could call it that, more so an acquaintance. I don't plan on pursuing a relationship with him further than tonight. Having Lucas in my life seems like playing with fire, and I'm not the type of person for that. Andy frowns slightly. "If he's someone who spends time at places like that, I don't think it's a good idea to start that friendship again." "I wasn't planning on it; he just needed me to take photos tonight." Andy shoves his hands into his jeans, keeping his frown. "I still don't see why." I halt my steps, looking over to him, slightly hurt. "Do you not think I could get paid to take photos?" Andy gives me a sympathetic smile, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Oh no, sweetheart, that's not what I meant at all. But photography isn't something we planned on you doing, remember?" "But what if I could, though? Maybe I could actually do it as a job," I ask timidly, shrugging my shoulders slightly. Andy sighs, rubbing his hands up and down my bare arms. "It's a good hobby, dear, but it's not what we talked about you doing; we should stick to that, okay? You'll be fantastic at my dad's firm." I press my lips together, giving him a resigned nod, deciding not to push the subject further. I could point out that he decided all of that, not me. I could point out that I have absolutely no desire to be a receptionist at his father's firm. I could do a lot of things, but instead I just stay quiet. It's easier to just stick to his plan; that way, I don't have to worry about the future. It's already laid out for me. Andy wraps his hand around my waist, turning us to keep walking, and he gives me a disapproving once-over with his eyes. "I still don't think that outfit is very appropriate, honey, especially for a place like this, think of all the low lifes there and what they'll be thinking about you." I bite the inside of my cheek, fighting the urge to snap back at him. He hasn't stopped making comments about my outfit all night; he hasn't once complimented me or said one supportive thing, really. I tried to heed Lucas' request, well, demand that I dress up, but now this white tight skirt and sheer, low-cut, loose blouse seems like a bad idea. I think Andy's just irritated that we are going to this place instead of going to his father's house for dinner, like every Saturday night since we've been together. "Do I look bad?" I ask quietly, feeling self-conscious over his constant comments. He leans over and kisses my cheek. "No, of course not, you always look beautiful... It's just, this outfit is a bit...well, you know." I crease my brows together. "No, I don't know, what is it?" Andy blows out a huff of air, shaking his head, "It's just when you're dressed like that, it gives people a certain impression." I glare sideways at him, tugging down the hem of my skirt again. "What impression would that be?" Andy smiles, kissing my cheek again, "Don't worry about it, just try not to wear it again, okay?" I hang my head, looking at the ground with my shoulders deflating. "At least one part of the outfit shows who you really are," he says warmly, giving my waist a gentle squeeze with his arm around me. I lift my eyes to him, trying to hide how insecure and hurt I feel. "What's that?" Andy lifts his hand to point to the halo on top of my head. "That right there, you're an angel." I blush, dropping my eyes again. "I don't own anything devil-related, the closest thing I have." I really didn't own anything that seemed to fit the theme tonight. I had an old halo that was part of an angel costume from Halloween last year, and figured that was in the realm of devils, I mean, even Satan was an angel at some point. "You and me both, sweet pea," he smiles, rubbing his hand against my side affectionately. "Let's just get tonight over with, so you never have to come back." ---------- As soon as I'm surrounded by those deep red lights, I feel like I've been sucked back through time, all the Deja Vu feeling like a kick to the stomach as I search my eyes around the club. It still feels as sinister as ever, the heavy bass to the music making the air vibrate. That same smell fills my nostrils, and I close my eyes momentarily, almost reminiscing about the last time I was here. Though I could never openly admit it, a small bit of excitement spurs in me over being here again; there's something about this place that thrills me, it's probably the fact that I know I shouldn't be here. Andy clung to my side, scowling at the sea of people all dressed like something out of a pornographic masquerade movie. It seems most people opted for masks, creepy ones at that. Some were black with menacing horns, others were shades of red with menacing teeth, and looked fit for a horror film. A large collection of the women opted for scantily clad outfits, some only in tight red latex body suits and fishnets, complemented by some devil horns. I definitely stick out like a sore thumb. "Evelyn!" My attention is caught by my name, and I look around until my eye catches Sophie making her way through the crowd, waving with an excited smile. She reaches us, pulling me away from Andy and into a tight hug. "I can't believe you actually turned up!" she shouts. "Me either," I laugh as I pull back from her, relieved that she decided to come and that I'll have her here for support. I'm thankful I have the buffer of other people with me when it comes to being around Lucas. Today proved to me that I can't be alone with him, I don't trust him, and deep down, I know I don't trust myself. Andy steps to my side, linking his arm around my waist, giving Sophie an exaggerated smile, "Fancy seeing you here, Sophie." Sophie returns his fake smile, not trying in the least to hide the sarcasm in her voice, "Oh, hey Andy, sorry I didn't notice you there." His arm tightens around my waist, and I chew on the inside of my cheek, hoping this isn't going to be another drawn-out passive-aggressive conversation between them. "I could say the same, but you're hard to miss," he replies, giving Sophie a once-over with his eyes, making his expression obvious that he doesn't approve of her proactive outfit. My shoulders tense as I bite back the urge to ask him to stop being so rude, hurt, and angry that he insists on speaking to my best friend the way he does. I give Sophie an apologetic look, hoping she doesn't try to push his buttons like she usually does. Sophie smiles tightly. "Thank you, glad you like my outfit so much, I might lend it to Evelyn sometime." Andy bristles, and before he can respond, I cut in to try to diffuse another argument before it starts. "Do you know where Lucas is? I need to figure out what's going on with these photos I'm meant to be taking." Sophie gives Andy a quick glare before turning her attention to me. "He's upstairs. Do you want me to take you up there?" I nod appreciatively. "If you could, please, I'm still a bit nervous." A warm, encouraging smile spreads on Sophie's face. "You've got nothing to be nervous about, your photos are going to be amazing." Oh, if only she knew it wasn't the photos I was nervous about. She gestures her hand for us to follow her, "Come on, let's go find your mystery man." I follow with Andy close behind me, keeping a tight grip on my hand as we weave through the crowd of people to that same staircase that's plagued my memories. I can't help the flashbacks that run through my mind of the first time I saw Lucas, walking down those same stairs, or when he had walked me up them into that bathroom. There was something about that night that changed everything, though I'm not sure exactly what it changed yet. There was a definite shift in my reality after encountering someone like him; his presence burns itself into your existence whether you want it to or not. Maybe it was that I could tell there was a danger about knowing someone like Lucas; he was unpredictable, dark, and somewhat forbidden to someone like me. He was the guy my parents would warn me about, the type they would use as an example of what to stay away from. Maybe that's why he fascinated me so much. As we make our way up the stairs, my nerves start to swirl like fire ants through my stomach, forever feeling unprepared for any encounter I have with this man. As soon as we reach the room at the top of the stairs, I glance briefly down the corridor Lucas had taken me down, my stomach fluttering at the memory of following him so naively back then. The upstairs room doesn't look like it's changed at all, except the stage where bands would play is now graced with half-naked women dancing on poles or performing burlesque routines. Andy's grip tightens around mine, and I look back at him, seeing him shake his head in disgust at the stage. I sometimes wish he weren't so judgmental. The women dancing are beautiful, they're doing a fantastic job, and are clearly talented, but all he can see is something cheap and immoral. "He's sitting over there." Sophie places her hand on my shoulder to get my attention, and when I look at her, she gestures over to the corner of the room, to a corner lounge that has several people sitting on it with a table in front of them. I immediately notice that same head of curls in the crimson lighting, and I hold my breath when I lock eyes with him, feeling like everything in the room was sucked out through some kind of vortex, and we were the only two people there. I don't think I'll ever feel like I don't have the wind knocked out of me when I see him, especially if he keeps insisting on wearing those damn dress shirts unbuttoned and open over his chest. I have to admit, though, the devil horns perched on his head are both ironically fitting and comical at the same time. I hadn't realized he'd noticed me. Although I am the only person in a sea of satanic costumes who's wearing a bloody angel halo, I guess anyone would notice that. I must look utterly ridiculous. Lucas lifts his hand, motioning his fingers to come over with a smirk, and I coax myself into taking the first step, walking apprehensively with Sophie next to me and Andy still training behind, holding my hand. Lucas is sitting back against the couch with spread knees, scantily clad women sat on either side of him with decorative masks, and several other people sat around on the couch, most of them drinking or kissing. I'm noticing a few of them doing something I don't quite recognize at first. As we get closer, I recognize what's going on, even though it's something I'd only ever seen in movies, and I start to panic. Andy is going to throw a fit over this. One of the women runs her hand down Lucas's bare chest, whispering in his ear before leaning forward over the table, scraping white powder into a line with a card and inhaling it through her nose with a rolled up bill. It seems that's what most people sat there were taking turns doing, except Lucas, he hasn't wavered his eyes from me, he didn't even seem to pay attention when the woman had spoken to him. I always thought I would react differently to seeing something like that in person, that I'd be outraged or mortified by it. For some reason, however, I'm fascinated. It's not in the sense I'm attracted to trying it, but watching people partake in such illicit behavior, doing something I would never dream of, has me curious instead of afraid. I'm halted in my steps by Andy tugging my hand firmly, a few feet from the table, and grabs my arm as he spins me to face him abruptly with his brows creasing together, he looks furious, "Evelyn, what the fuck! That's who your friend hangs around? For Christ's sake, they're all doing drugs!" "I'm sorry, I didn't - I didn't know people would be doing that." I apologize quickly as I watch his anger rise. "What do you expect from people like that? We're going home, you aren't socializing with junkies," he snaps, screwing his nose up in disgust. "Andy, will you just relax? She's here to take photos, she's not going to get high just looking at it." Sophie butts in, folding her arms over her chest. I know that she's biting her tongue; she can't stand when he tells me what to do, and she's made sure to reiterate that to me at great length. "Relax?" he scoffs. "These may be the kind of people you hang around, but I'm not letting Evelyn associate with criminals." I feel guilty for bringing Andy here, exposing him to a situation like this. I know how strongly he feels about these sorts of things, but I also hate that he's ordering me around like I'm a child. He tugs on my arm, glaring towards Sophie, "Come on, Evelyn, we're going home." I frown, trying to pull my arm from his grip. "I can't just leave. The owner hired me to take photos, I can't go without saying anything." Andy grips my arm harder than I think he realizes, and I wince at his fingers biting into my skin. "Forget your stupid photos, we're leaving, you don't owe people like this an explanation." "Andy, please stop-" An arm brushing against my shoulder makes me jump, darting my eyes to the side to see Lucas standing next to me, looking down at me with his brows dropped and jaw set tight. His face looks stern yet passive, and my words catch in my throat as I catch the irritation behind his eyes. I'm hoping he didn't hear what Andy had said. I'm dreading what he would do, simply because I never know exactly what it will be; the uncertainty with him terrifies me. I don't get to say anything before he speaks, his voice low and taunting, "Is there a problem here?"