Five Years a Virgin

I pushed the door to the ballroom, where the long table was covered in mouthwatering dishes, but I did not have the slightest appetite at all.

Ten hours of travel followed by four hours in the rain had left me drained.

At the party, everyone seemed to forget I existed. I listened to stories of their days at the wolf academy and current conflicts within the pack. No matter where the conversation began, it somehow always found its way back to Alaric and Serene.

Their past lingered in every word, every shared glance, and every tactful smile. It felt as if I was an outsider, through and through.

After the party finally ended, I followed Alaric to his quarters on the border. It was a single, bright room with minimal furnishings and exactly his style.

The only thing that didn't match the room's cool aesthetic was a soft pink throw pillow carelessly tossed on the couch.

He took a new pair of slippers from the cabinet for me, but I noticed another pair of clearly-worn she-wolf slippers by the door. Their patterns matched the pair on his feet.

"Take your seat. I've had someone fetch new toiletries. And I noticed you barely ate just now, so let me make you something," he gently said.

He was always so gentle and considerate that even if we'd never had sex, I'd always believed he loved me. Yet, it turned out to be my wishful thinking all along.

As he busied himself in the kitchen, something tempted me to pick up the pink pillow. Words were stitched in delicate gold thread in one corner. "Sweet dreams, my Alpha. From Serene."

I expressionlessly set it back to where it had been and didn't know how I should describe the emotions I was feeling.

I'd decided to give up, yet my chest still ached with uncontrollable pain. I'd loved him for six years, after all, and it wasn't like I could move on just because I wanted to.

Exhaustion washed over me as I collapsed onto the couch.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a message from an unfamiliar number. I tapped on it to reveal a picture.

It was taken on the battlefield. Alaric was covered in blood and dirt, yet he stood tall and unyielding. He cradled Serene against his chest as his sharp, wary gaze swept their surroundings for threats.

In his arms, Serene's expression was one of pure happiness as she gripped his collar tightly and curled her body into his.

So, was this from the moment he'd saved her?

Before I could recover from the shock, another message arrived. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I meant to send it to a friend, but I slipped and sent it to you instead.

"Can't unsend it now, so just pretend you never saw it, and don't get upset, alright? I swear I didn't mean anything by it."

The false sweetness in the words made my stomach churn. At this moment, five years of endurance and blind hope shattered under the weight of such a deliberate provocation.

Sounds came from the kitchen. I shoved the phone back into my pocket and pretended nothing had ever happened.

Alaric sensed nothing amiss and handed me a bowl of chicken soup. "See if it suits your taste."

I took it without looking at him and quietly asked, "Will you tell me what's between you and Serene?"

He calmly answered, "She's my childhood friend, and we grew up together. She was forced to mate with a wolf from another pack because of certain circumstances, and only came back last year."

I took a sip of the soup before murmuring, "Is that all?"

He sharply caught the note of doubt in my tone, and his voice turned cold. "What else would it be? Serene provided us with crucial information about the enemy's secret plans in the pack war and was a hero to this pack. Treating her well is the least I can do.

"Stop overthinking, Kyna. You're my fated mate and the pack's Luna. What more do you want?

"If you're bringing up old matters now, does that mean you don't trust me, or are you questioning the Moon Goddess?"

His matter-of-fact tone and words cut deeper into my bleeding heart.

To him, our mate bond was just a matter of certainty and a will from the Moon Goddess. It had nothing to do with love and was just an issue of identity and duty.

...

That night, we lay in the same bed under two different covers and a vast, unbridgeable space between us. Then, he suddenly took my hand.

My entire body went rigid.

For five years, he'd avoided my every touch, and this was the first time he'd approached me on his own.

The irresistible pull from the fated mate bond made my heart race, and my cheeks burned. I held my breath and wondered if this was it. Was this the moment we finally broke the wall between us?

But his next words hit me like a bucket of ice water and drenched me in a chill that seeped into my very bones.

"Kyna, I'm not ready to return to the downtown district yet. I think I'll stay at the borderlands a while longer."