Falling for My Ex-husband Again

NEAH'S POV

Three days after we lost our child, I sat silently in front of a tiny white coffin. It was so small. Far too small to hold the reality that a life had once existed there. I clutched the ultrasound photo tightly in my hands while tears streamed endlessly down my face. I no longer knew how many hours I had been sitting there.

I couldn't leave.

It felt as though the moment I stood up and walked away... I would truly be leaving our baby behind. Behind me, I could hear the hushed murmurs of people. Friends. Relatives. People who pitied us. But none of them came near me. Because they all knew there was only one person I was waiting for.

Dave.

I squeezed my eyes shut when my gaze drifted toward the wall clock.

Two hours late.

I didn't know why a part of me still hoped he would come. That maybe this time.

He would choose us.

Suddenly, a woman approached me and gently rested a hand on my shoulder.

Dave's mother.

She looked as elegant as ever, but her eyes remained cold as she stared at the tiny coffin before us. I couldn't tell whether she truly felt sorry for me or if she simply didn't care about what I was going through. I knew her. She had always been just as hungry for Dave's success.

"Has Dave still not arrived?" she asked quietly. I slowly shook my head. She fell silent for a moment before letting out a soft sigh.

"He said there was an emergency board meeting."

Something in my chest tightened again. A board meeting.

Again.

A bitter smile formed on my lips as I lowered my gaze to the ultrasound photo in my hands.

Of course.

What else could it be?

"Neah," she called gently once more. "You should rest. This isn't good for your health."

I didn't answer. Because if I spoke... I was afraid I would completely fall apart.

A few moments later, my phone suddenly rang. My heart lurched the second I saw the screen.

Dave is calling.

I answered immediately.

"Dave..." I whispered softly.

"Neah." His voice sounded heavy on the other end. "I'm sorry. The meeting still isn't over-"

Something inside me finally snapped. Another meeting. At our child's funeral. Quietly, I closed my eyes and forced myself to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Okay," I said weakly.

"Neah, please understand. This deal is important-"

"More important than our child?"

Silence.

And in that moment, I heard the most painful silence of my entire life. Tears slid down my cheeks as I stared at the small coffin in front of me.

"You didn't even come to say goodbye to him." My voice was completely broken now.

"I buried our child alone, Dave."

"Neah-"

I ended the call. And for the first time. I didn't wait for him to call back.

---

After the funeral, I didn't go home immediately. I wandered silently through the cemetery, hugging my coat tightly against the cold night wind. It felt like... I no longer had a home to return to. Our house no longer felt like home.

It was just a place filled with memories of a family that never even had the chance to truly exist.

By the time I reached the parking lot, I realized it had started raining again.

At first, it was only a drizzle. Then slowly, the rain began pouring down until I was completely soaked. But I didn't move. I couldn't feel anything anymore. A moment later, hurried footsteps echoed behind me.

"Neah!" I closed my eyes.

Late.

He was always late.

Dave stopped in front of me, breathing heavily. His suit was drenched too, as though he had genuinely rushed to get there.

But just like always.

He was too late.

"Neah, I'm sorry." He immediately grabbed my arm. "The meeting took longer than expected-"

I gently pulled my arm away. He froze. Without looking at him, I spoke softly.

"Did you make it in time?" He swallowed hard.

"What?"

"Did you see our child before he was buried?" Rain fell heavily between us as silence consumed him. And immediately, I knew the answer.

No.

A bitter smile curved across my lips as I slowly nodded.

"Of course."

"Neah, please..." His voice cracked. "I tried to come earlier."

"But you didn't."

He fell silent again. Maybe this was the first time he realized that "sorry" would never be enough anymore. Slowly, I finally looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked exhausted.

But for the first time, I couldn't bring myself to pity him.

"Do you know what hurts the most?" I asked quietly. He said nothing, only staring at me.

"I kept defending you."

His brows furrowed slightly.

"To everyone." My voice trembled again. "To my parents. To my friends. To myself."

His hands tightened into fists as he listened.

"I always told them you were just tired. That you were doing all this for our future." A soft, humorless laugh escaped me as tears rolled down my cheeks. "But while I was protecting you..."

Slowly, I shook my head.

"I was the one falling apart."

It looked like the air had been knocked out of him.

"Neah..."

"Do you know what I realized while I was in the hospital?"

Slowly, I looked directly into his eyes.

"When I have to choose..."

I paused.

"I always choose you. But you?" My voice broke. "You could never choose me. Every single time."

He stepped toward me immediately.

"That's not true."

"Really?" I asked calmly. "Then why was I alone?"

He had no answer. And that was the cruelest part. Because even he knew...

I was right.

A taxi passed by us moments later. Quietly, I wiped away my tears and started walking away from him. But before getting inside the taxi, I spoke softly without turning around.

"I'm tired, Dave."

I felt his silence behind me.

"And I don't know if I can keep waiting for you anymore."

---

I didn't return to our house that night. Instead, I went straight to my parents' old home. The moment I saw my mother waiting for me, I broke down even harder. I threw my arms around her as tears poured uncontrollably from my eyes. I was already a mother once... But I was still someone's daughter who needed her own mother too.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated.

Dave Calling

I slowly pulled away from my mother's embrace and stared at the screen as it lit up repeatedly. I didn't answer. I no longer had the strength to face him or talk to him.

A few seconds later, another notification appeared.

[I'm outside.]

I closed my eyes.

"Talk to him," my mother said gently. But I shook my head. I didn't want to. A few moments later, I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Neah..." His voice. I could hear the exhaustion in it. The weakness. And Fear. I didn't move.

"Please open the door."

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms tightly around myself.

Back then, no matter how badly he hurt me, one phone call from him was enough for me to run back without hesitation. But now... I was so, so tired.

"Neah," he called again. "Please... let me explain."

Explain?

How could he explain losing our child? How could he explain every night I cried alone while waiting for him to come home? How could he explain that every single time I needed him. He was never there?

Slowly, I stood up and walked toward the door. I stopped in front of it, staring at the doorknob. Silence lingered on the other side, as though he was waiting to see whether I would open it or not.

My hand slowly drifted to my stomach. Gone. Our baby was gone. It felt like a part of my love for Dave had disappeared too. Gently, I rested my forehead against the door and closed my eyes.

"Go home, Dave."

Silence answered me from the other side.

Then-

"Not until you talk to me." I bit my lip hard to stop myself from crying again. This was how he used to be. Whenever he wanted something, he refused to leave until he got it. But when I was the one who needed him. Why couldn't he stay?

"Please..." he whispered weakly. "I can't lose you too."

Too.

The word pierced through my heart like a knife. Because only now did he realize he was about to lose something- After I had already lost everything. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.

Then finally, I spoke in a quiet voice.

"You already did." And after that... I slowly stepped away from the door as tears silently fell down my face.

On the other side-

Dave never spoke again.