
Emergence
Chapter 2
Damian matured unusually early because of this.
While the other kids in the neighborhood were still playing in the mud, Damian was already competing in math Olympiads and winning awards.
His unfortunate family shaped Damian into someone cold and distant. Only with me did he show his sharp-tongued side.
When I placed second instead of first, he would tap my head and call me "not smart enough." He would point at my mistakes and snap, "Why can't you get such a simple problem right?"
When I only won bronze at a competition while he took gold, he would glance at me with disappointment and coldly label me a "blockhead."
Throughout my youth, Mom's favorite refrain was, "Look at Damian. So outstanding, always coming in first, winning so many awards he can't even keep track."
I grew up in Damian's shadow. I hated how he always made me feel worthless. I hated how Mom constantly compared me to him.
Yet back then, everyone said Damian and I were just "bickering lovebirds." They said the way Damian treated me proved he liked me.
Even when Damian confessed, he said, "Elara, if I didn't like you, would I hold you to such high standards?"
It was the first time he spoke to me so gently. His expression softened, his eyes full of warmth and laughter.
The cheers around us drowned out the discomfort stirring in my chest. Just like that, I ended up together with Damian in a daze.
That daze lasted ten years.
Lily was my closest friend in college and the only person who supported my breakup.
Back in college, Damian once asked me to meet him at the library to study.
Waking up at seven on a weekend was no easy task. Even though I rushed as fast as I could, I was still two minutes late.
Damian stood there with his arms crossed, clearly displeased. "Elara, why do you have zero sense of time?”
"When you start working and meet clients, will you be late like this as well? What if there's a multi-million dollar deal at stake?"
I instinctively wanted to apologize, but Lily, returning from her morning run, pulled me behind her.
"Making her wake up early on a weekend to study with you is already cruel. The fact that Elara even showed up is impressive.”
"And she's only two minutes late. Do you really need to blow this out of proportion?"
After that day, Damian and Lily's relationship soured.
Lily loved praising me. She praised me for having the second-highest GPA, praised me for passing my language exams, even praised me for waking up early for eight o'clock classes.
She would say, "Don't listen to Damian. Our Elara is the best!"
That kind of affirmation was something I had never received in my entire life. That was why I loved spending time with Lily.
Damian scoffed at it. "She praises you just to make you arrogant so you can't see your own flaws.”
"Humility leads to self-reflection. When I point out your shortcomings directly, that's what's truly good for you!"
Whenever Lily came up, Damian would furrow his brow and press his lips into a tight line.
I knew this meant he was in a bad mood. Every time he made that expression, I would end up getting scolded.
I wanted to argue back, to tell him Lily was not like that. But fear spread through me without reason, rooting me in place.
I was too afraid. I was afraid of Damian's anger, afraid of his criticism.
When Lily heard about this, she only sighed softly. "Elara, when someone's been beaten down for so long, it's hard for them to break free.
"Take it slow."
So today, when she heard I finally decided to break up with Damian, Lily was especially happy.
She hugged me and said gently, "Congratulations, Elara. You're finally free."
Lily brought me to her place and allowed me to stay in the guest room temporarily.
She led me inside, her eyes bright. "Elara, do you like the room? I decorated it based on everything you love!"
I looked at the pink wallpaper, the desk with cartoon characters, and the doll with pigtails sitting on the bed. I felt dazed.
How long had it been since I last saw things like this after moving in with Damian?
Damian was a minimalist. His place was all black, white, and gray.
As for my love of pink and stuffed animals, he would only scoff and mock me. "Elara, your taste is so tacky."