Dad Only Loved Me After I Died

That had been my first time at Dad’s house.

I had given him that pouch as a gift.

I shook my head desperately, hoping Dad wouldn’t say yes.

Because that pouch held the blessing Grandma had given me to keep me safe.

She was the only person who had ever loved me.

It was also the last thing she left me before she died.

I had given Dad the protection charm because I wanted him to stay safe.

I didn’t want him to leave me suddenly the way Grandma had.

But Dad didn’t care at all.

He pulled the pouch out of a dusty cardboard box and handed it to Henry.

Henry held it in his hands and looked up at him with a grin.

“Daddy, did you ever open it?”

Dad shook his head.

“Why would I? It’s not like there’s anything useful inside.”

I floated beside him and stared at his calm face as he said those words.

A faint ache spread through my chest.

But Henry opened the pouch without a second thought.

A folded protection charm slipped out.

Then he picked up a lighter and set it on fire.

I rushed forward in a panic, trying to put it out.

But it was useless.

All I could do was watch the charm get swallowed by the flames little by little.

Grandma’s smile seemed to disappear with it.

And the father I had once wished safety for threw the pouch and the burned charm straight into the trash.

Then, still shaken, he scooped Henry into his arms and scolded him with worry in his voice.

“You’re too young to play with fire. What if you burned your hand? If you don’t like this thing, we can just throw it away.”

I looked at Dad, whose eyes were filled with nothing but Henry.

For the first time, hatred rose inside me.

I wondered what would happen if Dad found out one day what that charm had meant.

If he knew I had once loved him so much.

Would he regret it, even a little?

Would he spend the rest of his life drowning in guilt?

I stood beside the trash can and watched the charm turn to ash.

My blessing had turned to ash with it.

When I looked up, I saw the smug look in Henry’s eyes.

He pulled out a notebook.

I drifted closer and saw what he was writing.

[Calvin, I won again. Daddy will always love me the most!]

My whole body trembled uncontrollably.

So he had known everything.

Dad glanced at the trash can in disgust, wrinkling his nose at the burned smell. Then he kicked it farther away before turning back to play toy cars with Henry.

Their laughter filled the room.

Their happiness was everywhere.

But my blessing and I would both be trapped in this day forever.

Only now did I finally understand.

A child no one cared about would never matter, no matter what happened.

Not even if he died.

It was as if something inside me suddenly went quiet.

All the resentment in my heart disappeared in an instant.

For the next two days, I watched their family’s happiness like a stranger spying from the shadows.

Then the weekend came.

I saw Dad sneak in from outside carrying a six-inch cake.

So that day was Henry’s birthday.

The moment Henry woke up, Dad placed the surprise and the cake on the table.

I saw his eyes light up with joy.

But I had never celebrated a birthday before.

Not even once.

I had never even heard anyone say “happy birthday” to me.

Dad urged Henry to make a birthday wish.

Henry pressed his hands together. Then he opened his eyes and looked at Dad.

“I wish Daddy would only ever love me, and no other child.”

Dad smiled and tapped the tip of his nose.

“Silly boy. Why would you need to wish for that?”

“You’re the only child I have. Of course I only love you.”

Henry jumped up happily and threw his arms around Dad’s neck.

“That’s great, Daddy! Now I don’t have to worry about anyone taking you away from me!”

I watched them without any expression.

Even though I had heard with my own ears that Dad didn’t acknowledge me at all, my heart didn’t even ripple.

After that, Dad took him to the amusement park.

Then he took him to a toy store and let him pick out anything he wanted.

Just as the two of them were enjoying their father-son time, a phone call ruined the mood.

“Mr. Leedon, this is the building management. We need to inspect your gas line to make sure everything meets safety regulations, but we’ve stopped by several times and no one has been home.”