Blaming My Neutered Monkey for Her Baby

My ex-colleague, Brenda Wilson, finds out from an unknown source that I have taken in an adopted son. Because of that, she insists on matchmaking my son with her niece.

"My niece has graduated from a proper college, you know! You don't have to prepare any fancy wedding gifts… Just 800 thousand dollars will do! On top of that, you can put her name on the deed of that fancy deluxe apartment in the city center.

"From the way I see it, there's no need to choose the perfect date anymore. They should get their marriage registered tomorrow and do their best to give birth to a cute baby boy!"

My adopted son has a volatile temper, so there's no way he'll go on a blind date with some random woman. I refuse Brenda's offer on the spot with a cold expression.

Feeling furious and embarrassed, Brenda yells at me for being a stingy old lady. Then, she storms out of my place angrily.

Three months later, Brenda shows up with her pregnant niece outside my residential area. There, they start a livestream and start crying their woes to the Internet.

"Everyone, Emily Parker's adopted son tricked my poor niece, Ashley Collins, into sleeping with him! Yet now, he refuses to claim the unborn baby as his!

"Oh, Ashley keeps crying every day! Can Emily even afford to take responsibility for my darling Ashley if she and her unborn baby end up dying because of that bastard?

"If I gain 100 thousand likes by the end of today, I'll definitely commit suicide right on that Emily hag's doorstep!"

As I look at the comments that demand justice in Brenda's livestream, I almost laugh out loud.

My adopted son is actually a male monkey which has retired from the local zoo. On top of that, he's already neutered.

So, what on earth is Ashley pregnant with? A magical baby monkey?

Bang, bang, bang!

The heavy thuds against my security door were accompanied by a stream of high-pitched screeching that pierced right through the metal.

"Emily Parker! Get out here, you shameless old hag with no real kids of your own!"

I pulled the front door open.

Brenda Wilson immediately shoved a phone mounted on a ring-light tripod directly into my face, the artificial glare forcing my eyes shut.

"Look closely, everyone! This is the woman right here! She thinks that having a little money means she can cover for that rapist adopted son of hers."

Her niece, Ashley Collins, was sporting a noticeable baby bump. Right on cue, she dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms tightly around my legs.

"Ms. Parker, I'm begging you. Please have Mr. Parker come out and face me!" she sobbed. "This baby is a Parker! He's your own flesh and blood!"

The hallway was packed with a crowd of nosy neighbors, all whispering and pointing fingers at me.

"So that's her?"

"You can never tell with people. To think she'd let her son deceive a young girl like that."

"Look how far along she is. That poor girl."

I yanked my leg free.

"Watch your mouth, Brenda. When has my son ever laid hands on your niece?"

Brenda slammed the tripod down and planted both hands firmly on her hips.

"Three months ago, your son tricked her into sleeping with him! Now she's pregnant, and you won't even show your faces!"

Ashley pulled a wrinkled ultrasound report from her pocket and held it up high.

"Ms. Parker, look! This is my ultrasound report. I'm 12 weeks along. Mr. Parker promised he'd take care of me. He even said he was going to buy me a Porsche!"

I swiped the ultrasound out of her hand, letting it flutter to the floor.

"That's impossible! My son would never do something like that. Get out of here! Stop harassing my family."

Brenda practically jumped.

"Oh, look at you, Emily. Did everyone see that? Right in front of tens of thousands of viewers on the livestream, you just shoved a pregnant woman! Everyone, this woman has no heart! Let her know what you think of her!"

Suddenly, my phone started vibrating violently.

A barrage of calls from unknown numbers flooded. On the end of every single one those lines was someone screaming insults. Only then did I realize that Brenda had leaked my personal phone number in the livestream.

I looked at her twisted expression and sneered.

It always came down to money.

"How much do you actually want?" I asked.

Brenda let out a smug sneer and held up five fingers. "Five million dollars! If you're short even a single penny, we're setting up camp right outside your door!"

Ashley chimed in, "That's right! If I don't get what I'm owed, I'll stay here until I die!"

I crossed my arms, watching their little performance without much emotion. "Five million? What is your niece made of, gold?"

"If you can't come up with the five million dollars, then you're going to sign the deed to this penthouse over to Ashley!" Brenda spat.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a pre-printed Quitclaim Deed.

"I've already prepared the paperwork. All you have to do is sign it. Otherwise, I'll livestream here 24 hours a day and make sure you can never show your face in this city again!"