Before the Dawn Falls

"Come on, let's soak your feet. If I hadn't come home, you wouldn't have bothered, would you? How are your legs ever going to get better if you don't? When are you going to be able to stand up and swing me around?"

Serena stood there with her hands on her hips, pouting, looking completely at ease. There was no trace of disgust anywhere on her face.

If this had been before, I would have pulled her into my arms and cried. I had even thought about taking her advice, letting go of the hatred, and just building a life with her where we grow old together.

But now my heart has turned cold.

If she actually cared about my legs getting better, why would she have worked with my enemy to cripple them in the first place?

"What if I told you I could stand up?"

Her eyes went wide. For a moment Serena looked genuinely stunned. After five seconds, she decided I was joking.

"Stop that. Don't make jokes about your legs. It's not funny."

I clenched my fist. So I hadn't been wrong about her after all.

If she were truly innocent, hearing that my legs had recovered would have made her happy. Instead she was certain it was impossible.

I stood up right in front of her.

"Caleb, how are y-y-you… There's no way you can stand!"

She caught herself and gave an awkward laugh.

"I mean, are your legs all better now? Let's go to the hospital and get you checked out."

Something gave out in me all at once. I fell to the floor. Everything became clear. My mouth opened and closed a few times. In the end I swallowed the words I wanted to say.

"My legs aren't better. I just forced myself to stand because I wanted to see you happy. The report is on the table. The doctor said there's no chance of recovery."

She didn't say much after that. Only a few words of comfort, then she made an excuse and slipped out to the living room.

I followed quietly. Through the gap in the door I caught bits and pieces: "medication", "effect", "increase the dose".

Even hearing it with my own ears, I still couldn't fully believe it. She had never actually wanted my legs to heal. So what had all these years meant?

The pain in my chest made it almost impossible to breathe or stand. A wave of despair hit me, then another. Something bitter rose in my throat and I couldn't hold it back anymore.

She came back to the bedroom and found me curled up on the floor.

"What's wrong, are you hurting somewhere? Caleb, you look so pale."

She cupped my face in both hands, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm sorry, Caleb. It's my fault. I'm useless. I still haven't made Ethan pay for what he did. I'm such a terrible lawyer. I hate myself for being so helpless."

Her face was streaming with tears.

If my legs hadn't recovered and I hadn't gone downstairs to surprise her, I think she could have kept me fooled for the rest of my life. I would have continued to sleep with my enemy and pour out my heart to her.

Her acting was spectacular.

When I didn't respond, she tried again.

"Ethan has too much power and too many connections. I really don't want you living in hatred forever."

She paused. The look she gave me was careful. I knew what she wanted. She wanted me to say I was ready to let it go, to fade into the background and orbit her life quietly.

"What if my answer is still the same as always? I want to make Ethan pay with his blood and tears. I want to tear him apart. I am never letting him go."

Hearing that, Serena's nails dug into my skin. Her whole body was trembling. She was trying to hide it but she couldn't.

I watched her face closely. That was just a casual test and she had already given herself away. I had been such a fool to ever believe she was innocent.

I smiled miserably and gave her what she wanted.

"Just kidding. I let go of all that a long time ago. Three days and we're married. I'll have a surprise for you at the wedding."

She exhaled slowly and her smile came back. She kissed me hard.

"Thank you, Caleb. From now on I'll always be by your side. I won't let Ethan hurt you ever again. Wait here, I'll go run you a bath."

I watched her moving around, busy and attentive, her whole world arranged around me. Everyone who knew us said she loved me more than anything.

If anyone could be capable of betraying me, people would have said Serena was the last person on that list.

But she was the one who had broken me.

There was no future for us anymore.

I took out my phone and sent a message. A single set of instructions.

I didn't want Serena's love anymore.