After My Mate Tried Killing Me

The cave is barely a cave—just an overhang of rock with a wind-break of dead brush I dragged into place with a broken arm. I don't remember dragging it. I remember the shaking stopping, which the survival training at the academy taught me was the bad sign, not the good one. I remember my own breath sounding far away, like it belonged to someone else.

Somewhere around what must have been 3 a.m., my vision started going gray at the edges, soft and gentle, like falling asleep in class. That's when the heat came. Not from outside. From somewhere under my ribs, a flare so sudden I gasped out loud into the dark. For three seconds, everything behind my eyes turned white—not blinding, but clean, like moonlight on snow before anyone's walked on it. And a voice said, calm as still water, nothing like my own frightened thoughts:

*Not yet. Not here.*

Then it was gone, and the cold rushed back in, and I was just a woman with a broken arm shivering under a bush. But I was warm enough to move. I got up. I walked.

I don't tell anyone this. Not the patrol that finds me stumbling across the border marker at dawn, frost white in my eyelashes. Not the healer's apprentice who wraps my fingers in gauze and clicks her tongue at the color of them. I let them assume exhaustion, luck, stubbornness. I say nothing about the voice.

Back in the Omega quarters, I peel off my ruined clothes and sit on the floor because my legs won't hold me anymore. I press both hands flat against my sternum, the old gesture, the one I've used for months to hold the cracked bond shut like a wound that won't stop weeping. But this time it's different. This time I'm not checking for Lennox. I'm listening for her.

She doesn't answer again. But she's there. I can feel the shape of her now, coiled and patient, waiting for something I don't understand yet.

---

Two days later, Brielle's pup goes missing from its nursery.

I hear about it the way I hear about everything now—secondhand, through kitchen gossip, through Nora Pratt's strange, twitchy silence when she passes me at the wash basins. Nora won't meet my eyes. She never has, really, but today there's something new in it, something close to fear.

I don't know yet that Brielle told her to carry the pup to a locked room in the east wing. I don't know yet that Brielle stood in front of Lennox with tears already sitting perfect and glistening on her lashes, and said, voice breaking just right, *I smelled her. Gwendolyn's scent. Right by the nursery door.*

I only know that Lennox finds me forty minutes later in the corridor outside the kitchens, and his face is a stranger's face.

"Where is he." Not a question. His voice comes out low, and underneath it I feel the pull of Alpha tone gathering like pressure before a storm.

"Where is who?" I ask, and that's my mistake, because the tone detonates before I finish the sentence.

It slams into me like a wall falling. Every muscle locks. My spine goes rigid, my jaw clamps, and then his hand is at my throat and my back hits stone and I can't move, I can't even flinch, because the compulsion has taken that from me too.

"The pup," he says, and his fingers tighten. "Confess."

My vision starts to gray again, the same gray from the cave, except this time there's no white light waiting underneath it, just his face, inches from mine, eyes I used to fall asleep looking into. My lungs burn. I can't answer him even if I wanted to—the compulsion has locked my throat as surely as his hand has.

And I look at him. Not with fear. I don't have room left for fear. I look at him with something that feels like standing very still at the edge of a cliff, watching a stranger wear my mate's face.

"Lennox." Marcus's voice, sharp, close. A hand closes around Lennox's wrist. "Lennox. Look at what you're doing."

For a second nothing happens. Then Marcus hauls, hard, and Lennox staggers back like he's been woken from something.

I slide down the wall. Air comes back into me in a ragged, ugly gasp, and my vision clears in pieces—Marcus's tense jaw, the corridor lights, Lennox standing over me with his hand still half-raised, staring at his own fingers like he doesn't recognize them.

He looks at me then. Really looks, for the first time in weeks.

I don't feel the old ache. I don't feel the bond's desperate pull toward him, the one that's kept me kneeling in every version of this hallway for months. I feel nothing warm at all.

Something in my chest, quiet and final, has simply gone cold.