After My 99th Suicide, I Forgot My Alpha

In a haze of consciousness, I heard footsteps. Not Vivian's light tread, but a steady, powerful rhythm.

"Luna." A man's voice, low and unfamiliar, came from outside the cell. I struggled to open my eyes and saw a folded piece of paper slide under the door.

"The Elder asked me to give you a message—a phoenix must be reborn from the ashes."

The footsteps quickly faded.

I trembled as I crawled toward the paper. Unfolding it, I saw it was a secret letter, handwritten by Elder Grayson himself:

Ember, the power of the bloodline within you is far greater than you imagine. The Moon Goddess's gift would not be wasted on a mere mortal.

While the silver poison tortures your wolf, it is also purifying the impurities from your soul. When you walk out of this place, you will be truly reborn.

Remember, you are not some abandoned stray. You are a warrior forged in the Goddess's own fire.

I clutched the paper, the despair in my eyes slowly being replaced by a steely resolve. You have to live, Ember. You have to make every single one of them pay.

I don't know how long passed before the door to the silver cell was thrown open. Zander stood in the doorway, his silhouette tall and imposing. I couldn't make out the expression on his face.

"One minute you're playing the martyr in a silver cell, the next you're running to an Elder for pity. What is your game, Ember?"

There were a thousand things I wanted to say, a thousand explanations I wanted to give, but suddenly, it all felt pointless. Meeting his mocking gaze, I kept my voice low. "It wasn't intentional. The silver affects my wolf."

"Unstable?" Zander sneered. "I thought you had amnesia. Shouldn't you be telling me you don't even know who you are?"

He was right. I really couldn't remember anything.

I couldn't remember the girl who was tortured to the brink of death in the Blood Fang dungeons.

I couldn't remember the humiliating nights spent chained in silver, forced to beg for mercy.

I couldn't remember returning to the pack, covered in scars, my wolf broken, and still offering myself humbly to this Alpha.

I couldn't remember how, for three long years, my shattered wolf had sensed his tenderness for another, how my broken heart had endured his cold rejections, again and again.

But I didn't say a word of it.

The irony was, even with amnesia, my love for him hadn't been completely severed. His pheromones could still make me feel like I was suffocating.

I couldn't imagine how the girl who clawed her way back from hell, only to fly to him like a moth to a flame, had endured that suffocation for three long years. She knew despair better than anyone, yet she still chose love.

But the woman I was now just wanted to escape.

"Do you think a little pity from Grayson will change anything?" His pheromones washed over me, heavy with an Alpha's authority. "Don't forget, I am the Alpha of this pack."

Silver laurel leaves drifted past the window. I suddenly remembered the last line in my diary:

If one day I no longer love you, it can only be because my heart has died.

Thinking back now, the Ember who wrote that line had probably died long ago, in the countless nights she was ignored, in the helpless agony of being called a "lunatic."

Three years of being mated, and the number of days he had spent by my side could be counted on one hand.

I was used to it. I simply waited in silence for my departure papers to be approved.

During those days, Vivian's social media feed was a parade of their happiness—the northern snowfields, a moonlit ancient castle, a secret hot spring...

In every photo, the tenderness in Zander's eyes was a blade twisting in a wound I no longer felt. The caption read: He promised to show me the world.

I calmly closed the feed, as if I were looking at a stranger's life.

Three days later, Chloe's mind-link finally came.

A travel pass for the neutral territories, documents for my new identity, and an ancient parchment contract for the formal severing of a mate bond.

Without a moment's hesitation, I signed my name. A drop of my blood fell onto the parchment and was instantly absorbed. An ancient magic began to stir, and the contract gave off a faint silver glow.

Back at the villa, I sealed everything in a manila envelope and handed it to Marcus, Zander's Beta.

"Get this to your Alpha for me."

Marcus didn't look closely or ask any questions. He just nodded and took it. "Of course. I'll deliver it right now."

I took out my communicator and sent one last mind-link to Zander.

"Goodbye, Zander. From this moment on, we are nothing to each other."

"By the way, I left something for you with Marcus. Make sure you look at it."

His reply came quickly, his tone as dismissive as ever.

"Stop playing these childish games, Ember. I don't have time for your theatrics. Come back when you're done throwing your tantrum."

I shook my head and a dry, humorless laugh escaped my lips. It didn't matter. He would find out soon enough.

A car was already waiting for me at the end of the road. I got in, took a deep breath, and headed for the neutral territories.

Through the car window, I watched the lights of the Crescent Moon Pack fade into the distance.

The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. "My Lady? Are you sure? One last look?"

"There's nothing left for me to see," I said, closing my eyes and leaning back against the seat.

Goodbye, Mother and Father.

Goodbye, Zander and Vivian.

Goodbye to the weak, humiliated girl I used to be, and to all the pain of my past.

"The only way I'm going is forward."