After My 99th Suicide, I Forgot My Alpha

The next few days passed in the sterile silence of the empty villa. Zander never returned. The amnesia was a strange sort of shield; I felt no ache of loneliness, no pang of abandonment.

My wolf was dormant, wrapped in a thick fog, and I thought it wouldn't be so bad to just wait peacefully for my departure papers to be processed.

Until my mother's mind-link shattered the silence, piercing my thoughts like a silver needle.

"Vivian's coming-of-age ceremony is tomorrow. Seven o'clock, Moon Goddess Sanctuary."

"I don't care what state you're in," her voice was ice. "You will be there."

"Mother," I said calmly.

"Don't you dare call me that," she snapped. "I'm busy. We're done here."

The mind-link was severed abruptly, her presence leaving a searing pain in my mind.

The ceremony was even grander than I had imagined. The entire hall was decorated with silver laurel wreaths, the pack members were dressed in magnificent gowns, and the air was thick with the scent of vanilla and sandalwood. Vivian was radiant tonight, surrounded by fawning pack members and, by her side, a Zander I hadn't seen in days.

I took a sip of blood-wine, my gaze inevitably drawn to Zander. He wore a tailored black suit that hinted at the powerful muscles beneath.

A potent Alpha aura rolled off him in waves, a silent declaration of absolute dominance that made the air feel heavy.

The mate bond, faint as it was, still tugged at me, making my wolf tremble slightly. Yet this man, a born predator, was currently kneeling before Vivian, his long, powerful hands adjusting the hem of her skirt.

The gesture was so gentle it was reverent—a tenderness he had never once shown me. The thought sent a sharp, unwelcome pang through my chest.

The Elder's horn sounded, signaling the start of the ceremony. My parents led Vivian to the altar, which was bathed in moonlight.

My father stepped forward, his Beta's authority making all the lower-ranking wolves bow their heads. "On this night of the blood moon, I have an important announcement. The guardianship of the Moonspring Oasis... will pass to my daughter, Vivian."

The hall erupted in whispers of shock and disbelief. My hand tightened around my wine glass, my knuckles turning white. The Moonspring Oasis—it was our pack's most sacred place, where the Moon Goddess was said to have bestowed her dew.

Its waters could heal any wound and strengthen a wolf's spirit. Guardianship meant control over the pack's spiritual heart.

Just then, Zander also ascended the altar. He drew an ancient, rune-carved box from his inner pocket. In the moonlight, his fingers were long and strong.

He opened it to reveal a silver necklace with a moonstone pendant shaped like a teardrop.

"That's the Tear of the Moon Goddess!" someone in the crowd gasped. "The sacred heirloom passed down through generations of Lunas!"

"Gods, to give away the Luna's heirloom... is the Alpha publicly setting Ember aside?"

"Ember can't be Luna anyway. I heard her wolf is broken. This time she's even forgotten who she is."

Zander's fingers brushed against Vivian's skin as he slowly fastened the necklace around her neck, the moonstone coming to rest at the hollow of her collarbone.

My wolf let out a silent scream, a violent twitch as if pierced by a silver needle. At the same moment, the Tear of the Moon Goddess lost its original luster.

"Alpha, should you be doing this? My sister is your true Luna, after all." Vivian deliberately glanced in my direction, her voice a study in feigned hesitation. "She's the one with the Beta bloodline. You should ask her opinion."

Zander didn't look at me. He simply took her hand. "What I give you is yours."

My parents also stood by Vivian's side. "Don't you worry, my dearest child. We're here to support you. You don't need to think about anything else."

I stood in the middle of the crowd, a lone prey surrounded by a pack of wolves. The picture of their loving family carved away at what little dignity I had left.

The stares of the surrounding pack members were like spotlights, leaving me with nowhere to hide, each one a silent declaration of my failure. I could even feel the smug satisfaction rolling off Vivian in waves of pheromones, like a victor flaunting her spoils.

I gently set down my glass. As I turned to leave, I heard a pack member mutter:

"Look at her. She's completely lost it..."

"She's probably going to run off and cry again..."

"I wonder what new way she'll find to kill herself this time."

If I were the old Ember, I might have burst into tears. My wolf would have howled in agony. But now, I refused to waste my emotions on anything so worthless.

I didn't stop, walking straight toward the back hall of the sanctuary. The reflection in the mirror showed a pale face with clear eyes. Not a single tear had fallen.

Because I had already forgotten everything.

I had forgotten how desperately I once craved the Alpha's mark, forgotten how I had willingly trembled and submitted under his Alpha's command, forgotten how I had cast aside all my pride for a single glance from him.

The family I once loved, the mate who was once my entire world—now they meant less to me than strangers.

All I had to do now was wait quietly for my transfer papers and get away from this place suffocating with Alpha authority.

I took a deep breath, straightened my robes, and prepared to return to the main hall to grab my cloak and leave. But as soon as I stepped back into the sanctuary, Vivian was walking toward me, her face a mask of false sympathy.

"Sister, are you all right?" Her voice was pure honey laced with poison. "I know a night like this must be so painful for... a broken thing like you." She moved closer, her hand shooting out to grab my wrist, her nails digging into my skin. "But you have to understand, the weak are always culled. That is the law of the wolves."

I took a step back, instinctively recoiling from her touch.

"Don't touch me."

"Sister, you..." A flicker of murderous intent flashed in her wolfish eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a look of wounded fragility. Then, she suddenly stumbled, throwing herself backward.

"Ah!" She let out a piercing scream as she fell onto the bloodstone floor. The Tear of the Moon Goddess shattered, scattering across the ground as silver-tinged beads of blood splattered everywhere.

"Sister... why would you do that?" Vivian's eyes welled with tears as she stared at the shattered pieces. "You... you pushed me. You broke the heirloom... on purpose!"

The hall fell silent. Every wolf's gaze was fixed on me.

"I didn't push her," I said calmly.

CRACK—

A sharp slap echoed through the hall.

"Still lying!" my father roared, his voice shaking the sanctuary. "Ember! Can you not cause trouble for one single day?!"

My cheek burned. Before I could even react, my mother was screeching, "Guards! Seize her!"

I was slammed onto the cold bloodstone floor. The sound of my dress tearing was obscene in the silence. Sharp claws dug into my skin, and I felt warm blood spill across the cold stone of the altar.

The sound of heavy footsteps approached, carrying the weight of death.

Zander stood over me, looking down at me from his great height.

"Who do you think you are? What makes you think you can destroy a sacred relic? What right do you have to harm your sister?" His voice wasn't loud, but it filled me with a sudden, chilling fear. "I never acknowledged you as my Luna. Don't you understand that?"

I looked up, meeting his amber eyes. There was no warmth in them, only the innate cruelty and disdain of an Alpha. Or perhaps, that was only how he looked at me.

"Ember," he breathed my name with a sneer. "Some positions will never belong to you. No matter what you do, you can't change that."

He leaned down, his scent of musk and cedarwood nearly suffocating me. My dormant wolf twitched in agony.

And then I smiled.

The smile made Zander's pupils contract slightly. Perhaps he was so used to my hysterical breakdowns and my pathetic pleas that my calm, liberated, mocking smile threw him off balance. This was not the Ember he could control.

"I didn't push her," I said, my voice low and clear, meant only for him. "Believe it or not."

My voice was unnervingly clear in the silent sanctuary. Moonlight spilled over my bare shoulder, casting flecks of light in my eyes.

"And another thing—"

I took a deep breath, and my voice rang out with chilling clarity. "I, Ember of the Crescent Moon Pack, formally and completely reject you, Alpha Zander. Our bond is hereby broken."

As the words fell, the hall was plunged into a dead silence. Every wolf stared, wide-eyed, their breathing stopped.

A useless Luna, daring to reject an Alpha? The same Ember who had sacrificed every shred of her dignity just to receive his mark was now rejecting him?

The air filled with shock, disbelief, and a suppressed excitement. They all wanted to see how this drama would play out.

A sharp pain, like a needle through my heart, shot through me. The agony of a severing mate bond was instantaneous. Zander, standing before me, his robes glowing coldly in the moonlight, frowned at the exact same moment I did.

For a fleeting second, I wondered if he, too, could feel the pain of our bond breaking.

But he quickly composed himself and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "You've played this little game of push-and-pull one too many times. Do you really think this will work on me?"

"I've told you, your tantrums are useless."

He shot a hand out and grabbed my chin, forcing my head up. His eyes became possessive, dominant, a look that could shatter a lesser wolf's will.

"Stop the act," his hot breath ghosted over the sensitive skin of my neck, his voice a low growl rumbling deep in his chest.

"You know you can't resist me."