A Saint I Cannot Keep

Julian said, "Winnie, I'm in room 601. I'll be waiting for you."

Just then, Winona's reply synced to the computer screen.

"I'll give you the most perfect, unforgettable experience tonight, so your life won't have any regrets."

His next message came through almost immediately, clearly excited.

"I can't wait. I wish you were here with me right now."

Those messages sent blood rushing straight to my head. It took every shred of rationality I had to keep myself from driving to that hotel and catching them in the act.

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I never would've believed Winona would be capable of saying something like that. From what I knew of her, she'd get embarrassed just kissing me. Yet for Julian, she revealed a side of herself I never knew existed.

Earlier, she kept accusing me of not trusting her, but I'd obviously hit a nerve, and she freaked out.

Julian's cancer diagnosis and needing to visit him at the hospital were just an excuse. They were clearly getting back together.

Logic told me to go to that hotel right now and catch them in the act. Then, I could expose Winona for who she really was, cancel the wedding, and humiliate her in front of everyone.

But five years together meant I still had some pathetic shred of hope left. So, I just sat there in front of the computer like a corpse, watching time crawl by.

My heart grew colder with every passing minute. It was the middle of summer, but I felt like I was sitting in a blizzard, shivering and numb.

By 1:00 am, the apartment was still dead silent. The only light came from the computer screen reflecting off my bloodshot eyes. I knew then that Winona wasn't coming home tonight.

Looking around at all the wedding decorations, every single one meant to celebrate the happiness we were supposed to have tomorrow. But she had destroyed that happiness with her own hands.

Just then, my phone lit up in the dark. When I opened it, I saw a photo of Winona in bed with another man. She was leaning against his bare chest with a satisfied smile.

A moment later, more messages came through.

"Thanks, old friend. You're a real stand-up guy for letting Winnie keep me company."

"She's still as kindhearted as ever. As soon as she heard this was my dying wish, she agreed right away."

"I heard you two are getting married tomorrow. Congratulations in advance. I'll probably never get to see this alluring side of Winnie again. You don't mind her staying with me tonight, do you?"

Seeing that suggestive photo felt like someone had slapped me twice across the face. Julian's taunting words were like a knife twisting in my gut.

My bride was spending the night before our wedding with another man. How ironic.

I saved the photo as evidence and replied with a sneer, "A woman that saintly is too good for me. She's all yours."

Next, I immediately contacted a friend and asked him to help sync all the old chat logs between Winona and Julian to my computer.

I'd been preparing myself to find out they'd been secretly seeing each other behind my back. But when I saw the complete chat logs, I realized how pathetic I really was. Today was actually their first time reaching out in five years.

Julian had told Winona he had cancer and didn't have much time left. His only wish before dying was to lose his virginity.

She seemed to have forgotten the pain he had caused her five years ago. Upon learning that he had cancer, nothing else mattered to her.

Her concern and urgency in her messages were something she'd never shown me. Without hesitation, she agreed to his wish and arranged to meet him that very night.

She hadn't even bothered to verify if he was really diagnosed with cancer. A few lines of sweet talk from him had completely unraveled her.

Even though I had already decided to call off the wedding, my heart still ached. It turned out the five-year relationship I'd been so proud of couldn't compete with a few texts from Julian.

Maybe everyone except that one person was just settling. I was probably that person Winona settled for, the second choice in her eyes.

Over the past five years, there hadn't been a single moment when I wasn't looking forward to building our own home together. But now I didn't love her anymore. A woman like that wasn't worthy of my feelings for her.