A Clean Breakup

Ian once said that I was cold as ice and that he could never get close enough to me.

I explained that I didn’t need him to get close to me to know my thoughts. All I needed was his loyalty and unwavering companionship.

My mother’s marriage to Sebastian turned sour right before my eyes. One minute Sebastian was in love with my mother, the next he was parading his side chick, Rowena to my mother during her chemotherapy.

I had lost faith in men. The idea of love was a delusion to me. For a man to betray his partner in a heartbeat showed that the heart was a fickle thing. Thank goodness I held back a part of myself, so when things went wrong between us, I was able to stay composed.

I had no idea when Ian became acquainted with Roxy. In fact, the very mention of Roxy threw me off—she made my skin crawl.

Roxy and Rowena were forbidden subjects for me. During our three years together, there were moments of raw honesty where I bared my soul to Ian. I told him that I hated Roxy and Rowena the most. The last people I’d rather see were them. I even confessed to Ian that I wouldn’t be caught dead around the spots they frequented.

At the time, he ran his fingers along my hair lovingly and held my hand tight. He firmly yet gently assured me that he heard me. He promised to shield me from pain and to never go against my will to let me be in a room with the people I couldn’t stand.

Yet, he was the one who made sure Rowena and Roxy were at our engagement party. When I turned against Rowena and Roxy, Ian took their side and shielded them.

I put my suitcase in my old room. Baron always changed the sheets every fortnight. The bed looked clean, so I flopped myself onto the mattress.

I hadn’t felt secure anywhere in a long time, but the house was the only exception. I could let my guard down when I was at Baron’s place. He was the one constant who cared and never betrayed me.

Since Ian preferred Roxy, they could get engaged for all I cared. I was done with them.

“Are you honestly breaking up with Ian? He’s a good kid. You might not find someone better if you let him go.”

Baron could tell something was wrong, his eyes reflecting worry.

He approached my bed on his tiptoes, the words escaping his lips at last. “He’s a good kid. He probably didn’t set boundaries when being nice to Roxy too.”

Come to think of it, I had never fought with Ian before today.

I was pretty mean when we first started dating, so his advances were often met with my cold shoulder. I was hoping Ian would get angry and break up with me. At least, I wouldn’t have to go on dates with him against my will, and once Ian gave up on me, Baron couldn’t make me be with him.

To my surprise, Ian had the patience of a saint. He could put up with a lot. He treated me like a child, indulging in my every whim. I never thought of myself as demanding before meeting Ian, but at one point, I felt that I had gone too far.

One day, my conscience came back to bite me as he stuck out with my behavior. For the first time, I reached out to him, and from then on until three days ago, I thought he might be my salvation.