You Made Your Bed

Philip didn't say a word. But I knew that his silence meant agreement.

I always thought Philip was the only one in the Watsons who truly stood by me. But it turned out that I was wrong.

I thought his gentle care came from a brother's concern for his sister. I thought all the compromises he made were to help me feel more at home with the Watsons.

But all of that was just my wishful thinking.

"I'll drive you home," he finally said after a long pause. He took my hand and led me to the car.

As the engine started, I heard him speak softly beneath the rumble, "I'm sorry."

I rolled down the window, pretending not to hear a thing.

The wind whipped through my hair and stung my eyes, making tears fall without warning.

As we neared home, I took a deep breath and forced a smile before opening the door and stepping out.

I hadn't even unlocked the front door yet when I heard Tyler's voice coming from inside, loud and upset.

As soon as I opened it, he rushed into Philip's arms.

"Daddy, you're finally back! Mommy wouldn't let me go see Aunt Roberta, so she locked me in the house. But I really want to go to the amusement park!"

His words made me freeze.

I couldn't believe my own child could say something so hurtful like it was nothing.

Philip looked startled. His eyes flicked toward me.

"Mommy was worried the trip would be too long and you'd get tired," he said gently, ruffling Tyler's hair. "How about this? We'll take you to the amusement park today, okay?"

"I don't want Mommy to come!" Tyler turned his head away, pouting.

As I looked at his little face in profile, my heart ached. I lowered my gaze to hide the sting in my eyes.

I'd spent all this time trying to juggle work and family, but in the end, I'd failed at both. My son didn't love me, and my husband didn't either.

"How about I stay home and make your favorite meatballs?" I softened my voice and kneeled, gently holding his little hand.

He finally turned to look at me, blinking his big eyes. Then he nodded.

"Then I want extra meatballs tonight!"

Those words finally warmed something in me.

The sun was climbing higher, and as I stood in the empty house, something drew me to pick up that phone again.

[The world may not let me love you, but my heart still chooses you.]

I read the message out loud.

It was still sitting in the drafts folder, unsent. It was a secret Philip had written in his youth, full of longing and emotion.

"What about me, then?" My voice trembled, but deep down, I still clung to a little hope.

That message came from an eighteen-year-old Philip. But he had grown up and become a husband and a father.

If he really didn't love me, why would he have a child with me?

Then I saw it.

[I don't love her. I had a child with her because I hoped he could love her in my place.]

I couldn't breathe. The warm weather suddenly felt freezing.

My vision blurred, and my chest grew tight.

So this was why he was in such a rush to have a baby?

I had thought it was because he wanted a symbol of our love.

I thought it meant something real.

But now, I finally understood.

Eighteen-year-old me wouldn't have hesitated. If someone had betrayed her, she would've left without looking back.

But now, I had a sweet little boy, a family that everyone envied.

I clenched my fists and dragged my unsteady feet back to the bedroom.

As I lay there, staring at the ceiling, tears slipped silently down my face.

"Victoria, you hate yourself for being such a coward, too, don't you?"

I let out a bitter laugh, letting my thoughts spiral until I finally drifted off to sleep.

In my dream, I saw that cheerful boy from long ago.

He smiled and waved, then pulled a bouquet of roses from behind his back like a magic trick and shyly handed them to me. His eyes held no one else.

But when I woke up, the room was pitch-black.

I groped around to turn on the light, and then it hit me.

Oh, no. I still hadn't made the meatballs Tyler wanted!

I rushed downstairs, expecting to see my sulking son.

But the house was completely empty.

My steps slowed, and my vision went fuzzy for a second.

It was already 9 PM.

And they still weren't home?