To Hell You Go

Harvey and I had been together since high school. Back then, I was always the top of our class, and he was always teased for coming second to me. Our names were always placed together, and our seats in class were either before or after each other.

Despite that, we didn't speak to each other in private for a whole semester. At most, we would help the teachers pass messages to each other. We even acted like we were strangers when we passed each other in the corridor.

We only started getting to know one another during class one day. I generally remained in the classroom to do my revision when we had free time, but I suddenly felt stuffy that day. So, I headed to the corridor to take a break and get some fresh air.

Unexpectedly, I ran into a female student upon opening the door. The uniform she wore indicated she was my junior, and her long hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. She looked shy, but she exuded vivacity.

"I'm so sorry for running into you. Could you… could you help me get Harvey Gray out here, please? I-I have something important to tell him!" she said.

That female student had been Lindsey. She was my and Harvey's junior in high school and Harvey's first love.

At the time, Harvey was the perfect student that teachers and parents loved. He didn't want people to know about him dating anyone, so he usually forbade Lindsey from looking for him at school. That one time I ran into her was the only time she'd failed to hold herself back.

Later, Harvey had come to me and anxiously asked me to help them keep their secret. I had no interest in telling on them to the teachers, so I agreed.

I had no idea what came over Harvey after that. He started getting me a bottle of water when getting one for himself; he even started bringing me breakfast when buying it for himself. When coming across questions that he couldn't get the answers for, he would seek me out to discuss them.

That was how we got to know each other better. One day, he suddenly passed me a note telling me that he and Lindsey had broken up because she'd fallen for someone else.

I turned to look at him and saw his red eyes. He was usually warm and cheerful, but he looked like an abandoned puppy then. He asked in a low voice, "Am I worthless?"

At that moment, my heart melted. What happened after that came very naturally—everyone knew Harvey and I were dating, but no one said anything about it.

Rather than being a couple, we were more like study partners. I was always willing to explain problems he couldn't understand, and his improvement was evident. He overtook me in several exams. However, when it came to sitting for our SATs, my scores were still higher than his.

He'd stared at his results for a few seconds before a trace of resentment had flashed in his eyes. Then, he'd put on a bright smile and hugged me, saying we could attend the same college.

After starting college, I focused on my studies and gaining experience through internships, while Harvey threw himself into joining clubs and socializing.

He had a likable personality and was a pro at networking. I was worried that he would neglect his studies to socialize, so I reminded him a few times during our dates.

He would always brush me off with a smile, saying that everyone made different choices and took different paths. The more friends he made, the wider his network would be. So, I didn't say anything else.

When graduation was almost upon us, I was selected as valedictorian and hired by a large local company. Harvey and I had taken technical majors, so good grades were important. Many companies rejected Harvey because of his poor grades and failure to answer questions during interviews.

Unfortunately, the "network" he'd built couldn't do much other than drink with him and comfort him. He couldn't focus on enhancing his skills anymore, so he finally settled for a low-paying administrative job after a long job hunt.

Once we were both settled, our families started urging us to marry. I was career-oriented and always busy with my job, while Harvey's job gave him more freedom. He often had the time to meet with college friends for some drinks. Life was relatively peaceful for us.

However, things gradually changed. My salary increased exponentially, but Harvey's was stagnant. His friends started forming families and throwing themselves into their careers. Since he no longer had a way to vent his frustrations, he started becoming capricious and bad-tempered.

Things changed once again after Elaine's birth. He quit his job to be a stay-at-home father, and life went back to being peaceful. He went back to being his warm and cheerful self.

In hindsight, Harvey had probably never gotten over the fact that he'd never been able to surpass me. He couldn't accept that he constantly lost to a woman in high school, and he didn't have the courage to face challenges with me in college. So, he'd tried to beat me at socializing but had failed again.

He'd never talked to me about these things. All he did was pretend to be a good husband while enjoying the comfortable environment my hard work and effort brought. At the same time, he took out his jealousy and resentment over my success on Elaine.