Never Love: What They Gave Me

“What are you, actors Ruby hired? Her? A hero? She is rotten to the core. The only way we would believe she has changed is if she were dead.”

I did not know when a tear slid into the corner of my eye. However, it did not matter now. I really had died, just as they had always wished.

The reporters must not have expected to hear a parent curse their own daughter like that.

One of them froze as his face flushed red.

“Mr. Xerri, how can you say that? This mission only succeeded because Ruby risked her life to secure the key evidence.

“And I have heard she was stabbed in the abdomen by a dangerous suspect during the operation, leaving a long scar. How could you…”

He did not get to finish. My mother’s voice cut him off, sharp and laced with mockery.

“You still claim you are not the actor she hired? That scar on her stomach is obviously from fooling around with men outside of school and ending up in surgery.”

Even the most well-mannered reporter could not keep the anger from rising to his face.

Messages flooded in the livestream chat:

“What kind of parents talk about their child like this?”

“The police themselves confirmed her injury came from the mission.”

One reporter opened his mouth to speak again, but then another voice chimed in from the other end of the line.

It was sweet and syrupy. “Mom, what are we eating later?”

The tone was nothing like the cold edge my mother had just used on the reporter. It was warm and gentle, a voice I had not heard directed at me since the day Davina moved into our home.

Everyone in the room and in the livestream froze at the voice. According to the official records, my parents had only one child, and I was the only child.

By blood, Davina was my cousin. Six years ago, her parents died and left her alone in the world. My parents, unable to bear the thought of her alone, took her in.

Nevertheless, that was when my nightmare began. Piece by piece, she replaced me in their hearts. She became their cherished, perfect daughter.

The voice on the line went on.

“Don’t you love blue crabs? Then let us have some blue crabs tonight.”

Davina hesitated for a moment as though she was struck by a sudden thought. “If we eat something so good here, won’t it make Ruby unhappy? Maybe I should not.”

Her voice sank with feigned reluctance, and my mother rushed to soothe her. Even my usually stern father softened his tone.

“Davina, you get to eat anything you want. Ruby brought everything on herself. She deserves whatever she gets.”

“That is right. A bad seed like her is not worth your concern, Davina.”

“Mom, maybe we should bring some back home for Ruby,” replied Davina.

My mother let out a sigh. “Davina, you’re far too kind.”

Then she turned back to the phone. “Did you hear that, Ruby? Stop causing trouble. We can bring you some blue crabs if it will shut you up. Honestly, when will you ever be like Davina, so we can stop being ashamed of you?”

I could not remember the rest of what she said. I just stared at the phone with my mind caught in a haze.

I remembered being little, breaking out in hives from eating crab. My mother had cradled me in her arms, her face etched with worry, staying by my side in the hospital night after night. When I finally woke, her eyes were red and swollen from crying.

Now she thought bringing me some crab was kindness.

Mother, I held onto those nights for so long, only to find you had forgotten them long ago.

Perhaps they had never seen parents so cold-blooded; the livestream chat was flooded with nothing but sympathy for me.