Mom, I'm Sorry… I Just Wanted to Go Home

Grandma came back into the room. I leaned my head gently against her back, just like I had as a child. The familiar scent of her soap and lotion filled me with comfort. I wished this moment could stretch on forever.

She put on her reading glasses and carefully lifted an old box from under the bed. She opened it slowly, revealing three parcels swaddled in faded floral cloth.

The first parcel contained a bankbook. She smiled softly and said, "This 50 thousand dollars is everything I've saved my whole life. I'm leaving it for Nina. When she marries, it'll be her wedding gift. With money in her hands, she can hold her head high and never be wronged in her new home."

Even though she was terminally ill and couldn't even bring herself to buy medicine, she was leaving everything to me. My eyes filled with tears. I realized that even ghosts could cry.

The second bundle contained two golden bangles, polished to a shine even though I had never seen her wear them.

Grandma fell into a reverie. "These were my treasures when I got married. My mother gave them to me. They're the most valuable things I've ever owned, and I've never dared to wear them.

"How I wish I could live just a little longer, even two more years, so I could put them on Nina myself when she gets married."

I sobbed uncontrollably. "Grandma, I'm sorry. I can't do it!"

She saved the last bundle for last. Inside lay a neatly folded piece of paper—the deed to our old house.

She said with a hint of guilt, "Your little brother is just five years old, and your parents already bought him a house in the city. I can't afford a big city home, but this old place will shelter you from the wind and rain.

"If you ever feel wronged or hurt, you can come back here. And if you miss me, go to the grave at the east end of the village and talk to me—I'll hear you."

I couldn't hold back any longer. I wanted to throw myself into her arms and cry, "I'm already dead! Use this money to take care of yourself! Stop worrying about me! Forget me and live well!"

But no matter how desperately I cried, she couldn't hear me.

I could only watch as she hid the wooden box under the bed, hoping I would come back.

…

That evening, Mom had set a table full of food. Grandma barely touched it, and she repeatedly gazed at the door, filled with both hope and concern.

Dad hesitated and glanced at Grandma. "Maybe we should just call Nina."

Mom slammed her fork onto the table, and her expression darkened instantly. "Call her? No! You're all just spoiling her. I'm her mother. Do you really think I can't handle my own child?

"No one is calling her today. She needs time to reflect on what she's done. We can't keep indulging her bad habits."

The shock made the frail Grandma cough violently. Dad quickly helped her steady herself.

Mom's tone softened slightly as she turned to Grandma, though her stance remained firm. "Mom, I know this sounds harsh, but it has to be said. Nina turned out this way because you've always spoiled her. The allowance system I set up is for her own good.

"Before she enters the workforce, she needs to learn how the world works. Only effort brings reward. Nothing comes without hard work. If you keep protecting her, it's not love. It's hurting her. When she steps into society, she'll suffer for it."

Grandma was a soft-spoken woman from the countryside. She had never raised her voice in her life, much less argued with her son and daughter-in-law.

Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come. In the end, she simply sat there with reddened eyes, looking like a helpless child.