Love Is Like Flowing Water

When she saw me, she paused for a moment and brought me a cup of warm water.

She asked worriedly, “Madam, are you alright? You look very pale. Shall I take you to the hospital?”

“It’s fine.”

I smiled and shook my head.

Well, even other people could tell that I was not okay.

Why could Clayton not see it?

It had been ten days, and not once did he check on me.

A wave of anger washed over me.

I was not sad about him. I just could not accept my circumstances.

I could not accept that my marriage was ending like this.

I could not accept that I lost my child.

I could not accept that after fighting for us for so long, I had fallen out of love.

Once I returned to my bedroom, I began packing my belongings into a suitcase.

Just as I was almost finished, Clayton suddenly came home.

He froze when he saw the suitcase in my hand.

He became nervous as he asked, “Why are you packing? Where are you going?”

I casually brushed him off without looking at him.

“I’m in a bad mood. I’m going to travel to clear my head.”

He grabbed my wrist and shoved a gift bag in my hand.

“This is for you.

“My secretary, Ms. Clark, said this bag is the latest spring-summer limited edition. It’s a national exclusive and would be perfect as a diaper bag.

“I also bought this toy specially for our baby. The salesperson said it’s great for newborns.”

He seemed nervous, yet his eyes shone with an eager light.

The hopeful glint in his eyes made me speak without thinking.

“Clayton, our baby is already—”

Before I could finish, he interrupted me.

“Ms. Clark said your due date is at the end of December, but I just promised Ruby I’d go travel with her then.

“So, I figured, since you’re so understanding, you wouldn’t mind having the baby alone, right?”

The unspoken truth remained stuck in my throat like a stone. It was bitter and sharp.

I opened the walk-in closet and revealed the ninety-nine bags arranged neatly inside.

“Clayton, you’ve given me ninety-nine bags. Count them.”

Clayton was shocked.

“I’ve given you ninety-nine bags already?”

I responded softly, “Yes.

“So, do you still intend to keep your promise?”

Clayton pursed his lips tightly.

I knew he was in a difficult position.

However, I wanted an answer, even if I already knew it deep down.

Sure enough, after only a brief hesitation, he said, “Ruby’s condition hasn’t improved. Let’s just... forget our agreement.”

That was my last straw.

I nodded. “Alright. I understand.”

Clayton was taken aback. He could not believe I had agreed so easily.

He pulled me into his embrace and said excitedly, “Thank you for being so understanding, Hazel.

“I promise that as soon as Ruby is stable, I’ll come home and make it up to you.”

I made a quiet hum of acknowledgement and told him I had just one request.

“I can’t find the baby’s rosary. Can you get a new one for him?”

When I mentioned our child, Clayton’s expression softened even more.

“Okay. We’ll get the best, most perfect rosary for our little one.”

My eyes welled up. The pain of losing our child hit me all over again.

“Okay.”

The truth was, I would never see my child again.

After he left, I went to the drawer and took out a stack of medical records. I had organized them carefully.

They were sorted by each milestone. There was the first confirmed pregnancy.

There was the first prenatal checkup.

There was the first prescription for stabilizing the pregnancy.

Every night Clayton was not home, I would take them out and look at them repeatedly.

When I looked at them, I felt the anticipation and joy of becoming a mother for the first time. They also represented my hopes, as a wife, for a happy family.

However, that anticipation and hope had already turned to dust.