Love Died Before I Did

Push Him Away

When I found out about his tenth affair, Christian held me tight and apologized through tears as he chased the woman out of the room. She barely even had time to strap her bra on.

By the twenty-eighth time, he went further. He transferred mansions and luxury cars into my name, swearing over and over that I was the only one he loved.

After the ninety-ninth time, I stopped counting. The details blurred together until they meant nothing at all. His guilt faded, and so did the tears. Even pretending began to feel like a burden to him.

Instead, he called his assistant and laid down a rule—cold, calculated, almost absurd.

A house under my name for every affair. A set of rare jewelry whenever one of his lovers got pregnant.

We'd dated for eight years and married for four. Now I had 99 properties under my name and was the owner of 98 sets of jewelry.

The other elites' wives envied me. Christian made a good show of him being a generous husband. Unbeknownst to them, this marriage was rotten from the inside.

It festered like an untreated wound, and I refused to cut it away. All I could do was watch it decay.

I was clinging on to something that already wasn't there. There were times I'd print out the divorce papers only to tear them apart in my ensuing hysteria.

Our fights came in droves, and we both pointed fingers at each other.

The endless arguments wore us down and planted resentment within us. The young man who once only had eyes for me was something in the past now.

The remnants of love I had for him dried out into desiccated husks after so many betrayals.

My parents were carving out a future in Asternis. Busy as they were, they sent their butler to talk to me.

Tears glistened in my eyes as I said, "I want to go home."

…

The flight was scheduled to take off in ten days. The living room was a lot more spacious than it used to be, with most of the decor wrapped up in cardboard boxes.

Only one thing remained untouched. The veil.

I couldn't throw that out. Christian made it with his own hands back when I was his whole world.

The end product wasn't the best, but it was a symbol of his love. Even after he started giving me piles of luxury items, the veil remained the one thing I loved the most.

Then one day, I saw Jasmine coming out of the auction house looking like she'd won the best thing in life. Reporters huddled around her, and she gushed about her happiness.

Christian had spent 1.5 million bidding on a set of diamond-encrusted, golden-threaded lingerie for her.

The scene made me sick to my stomach.

I tore the veil apart without thinking—but halfway through, my strength gave out. I collapsed to the floor, breath unsteady, surrounded by fragments of what used to mean everything.

We had years of history and a lot of memories tucked away. Throwing all of them away in one go was impossible.

I'd stayed in this painful dream for twelve years, and it was time to wake up, even if what lay ahead was excruciating pain.

…

I woke up after taking my medication. It was already afternoon, and it was the next day. Footsteps echoed outside the door.

"Did you throw our stuff out? The house is emptier than I remember. You should've told me." Christian's voice was raspier than usual.

Jasmine texted him. His phone buzzed. Her cloying voice played through the speaker, "I'm still sore from last night, daddy. You pounded me long and hard."

Christian halted before the entrance. A smile curled his lips, and he texted back even though I was right here.

I looked away. "Just clearing out useless things," I said flatly.

I moved toward the bar, but before I could reach it, he crossed the room and pulled me into his arms. He sat down on the couch with me, as if nothing had happened.

Then he took out another set of designer items for me.

Like he'd done so many times, Christian went down on one knee and wrapped an anklet around my ankle. His eyes spoke nothing but devotion, as if I was the only one he loved.

"Alright, enough of this," he said lightly. "Look what I got you." He stood and leaned in, brushing a kiss against my collarbone.

"Everyone knows how well I treat you. People envy you, you know that? So stop sulking and drop the attitude."

A cold smile twisted my lips. His promise came back to me.

A set of jewelry every time he made his mistress pregnant. This came faster than I remembered. Perhaps that mistress was Jasmine.

My smile sharpened. And this time—I pushed him away.