I Chose Dignity When She Chose Her Affair

The neon signs around me started to blur, and my head felt heavy. I figured I should get home while I still had enough sense to find my way.

The second I stepped outside, I saw Sophie and Dylan not far down the street, arm in arm and taking a walk together.

Half my buzz vanished on the spot. My friend, Owen Jacklin, saw them too, but he didn't know what to say.

Then, an idea hit me.

"Call Sophie for me. Tell her I'm drunk and I need her to come pick me up," I said.

Owen hesitated, but he made the call.

If she came for me right away, I'd forgive everything, the affair, the baby, all of it.

One second, two seconds, three, and then the flat tone of a rejected call.

They were already out of sight, but I kept staring in the direction they'd gone. Something hardened inside me in that moment, something I couldn't let go of.

Owen looked at me but said nothing.

"Call again."

He dialed. She hung up again.

I wouldn't accept it. I kept making him call.

Finally, she picked up.

"Hey, Miles, what's going on? I was in the middle of something, and my phone was on silent, so I didn't hear you. Is something urgent?"

Owen waited until she was done, glanced at me, then spoke. "I'm a friend of Miles's. He's pretty drunk. Can you come get him?"

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.

"I can't get away right now. Could you just take him home for me?"

Then she hung up.

Everything around me went quiet. The only sound was the dead tone of a disconnected line.

After a long moment, I let out a bitter laugh. I told Owen to go home. I wanted to be alone for a while.

It was late, and the streets were mostly empty. I just walked, replaying everything Sophie and I used to have over and over in my head.

She'd been like sunlight breaking into a life that had been nothing but shadows, pulling me out of the mud and giving me something bright to hold on to. She gave me something that felt like hope and happiness.

I believed she loved me. Maybe she always had.

Without realizing it, I wandered into an unfamiliar neighborhood. Then I heard Sophie's voice coming from somewhere nearby.

I ducked into the shadows. Two silhouettes passed right by me.

"You need to take it easy now and stop running around everywhere. Don't worry about the company for a while. I'll handle things."

That was Dylan.

Sophie laughed softly. "Okay, okay, I know. When did you get so naggy…"

Their voices faded down the street.

I watched Sophie and Dylan walk into a house together. Warm light spilled through the doorway, bright enough to illuminate every miserable thing I was feeling. I stood there staring at that glow as it flickered on, then dimmed.

I stayed there until morning.

When Sophie and Dylan finally came out, I couldn't stop myself from following.

I pulled out my phone and called her. She picked up fast this time.

"Miles? You sobered up?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Don't drink so much next time, okay? It's bad for you." Her concern was as gentle as it had always been.

"Where are you right now? Can you come home and just be with me for a while?"

But even as the words left my mouth, I realized I wasn't really expecting anything.

"I'm still at the office. I've got a doctor's appointment after this. Just rest at home, and I'll come back tonight to be with you."

I already knew the answer would be another disappointment. I'd gotten so used to it by now that it barely even registered.

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

I stopped walking and didn't follow any further. I turned around and headed in the opposite direction.