Countdown to the End of Us

No Wedding

In the end, she explained, "You know our marriage is a secret. We've not gotten any good opportunities to tell anyone. I promise you, we'll make it public someday. But now, we need to deal with this project."

I nodded, but I said nothing. I did not tell her that our priority was the upcoming wedding. Nor would I tell her that the cooling-off period would be over at the same time. After all, nothing was more important than Felix to her.

The woman made sure that Felix and I would not meet throughout the whole project. She thought she was slick, but my partner noticed. The soul of gossip burned in his eyes. "Hey, is Ms. Claude your fling or something?"

I smiled. "As if."

My partner's lips curled. "She stole a lot of glances at you. She thought she was slick, but I noticed the guilt in her gaze. The same kind guilty women have for their exes."

That stopped me in my tracks, and I dug deeply into my memory. I did notice her looks, though I could never ascertain her emotions. Not once.

T-minus, 10 days.

It was supposed to be the regular meeting for the project. Felix made sure to strike up a long conversation with me. I knew he probably guessed that Lauren and I were married, though I gave him polite and cordial answers.

Once the meeting was over, Lauren, for once, asked to give me a ride home. "You're more capable than I thought."

First praise she gave me in the last five years. I was halfway through packing up my files, and I stopped. I raised my eyes to her, wondering what she was saying.

A long moment of hesitation later, she asked, "Are you sure we can hold the wedding in time?"

I hung my head low. I knew what she wanted. To cancel the wedding. For Felix again, probably. "We can cancel it. We don't have long."

I looked at her. Of course I did not spill the truth. I did not want to make things ugly for both of us.

That surprised her. It was the answer she did not believe she could get. She blurted out, "You don't mind?"

Of course she would throw that question at me. The old me would've flown into a rage and demanded an answer from her. All the ugly scenes in our marriage happened because I lost control of my temper. Even though every single instance was thanks to her.

I shook my head. "I don't really care. It's just a ceremony."

A long silence later, Lauren said, "We can go to the next city to wind down."

I stared at the countdown on my phone. T-minus 10 days. I refused the offer.

The hands on the steering wheel went stiff. She almost ran through a red light. "What about the beach? Or the restaurant you've always wanted to go to?"

She kept bringing up ideas to wind down. I struck down every single one of them.

…

When we were about to get out of the car, the look of awkwardness and guilt on her face was gone. It was replaced by doubt and displeasure.

I saw that look, and I said, "Maybe we should check out our old home."

It was our first home after the marriage. Now I was getting nostalgic about it. That made her pause. She was guessing my thoughts.

Even after I'd gotten out, she remained in the car for a long, long time.

…

T-minus, one day.

We had a taciturn agreement. Lauren and I rarely showed up at the project site together. Sometimes, when Felix wasn't around, she would come down and join the meeting, but she would say nothing. The woman did steal some glances at me, though.