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After My Mate Chose Her, I Lost Our Pup Novel Cover

After My Mate Chose Her, I Lost Our Pup

I knew something was wrong the moment he stopped touching me. Colton had a way of going still that the rest of the pack had learned to fear. That absolute, pressurized stillness — no pacing, no raised voice, just the air in the room pulling tight like a wire about to snap. I had seen it used on warriors twice his size. I had never had it turned on me. Until tonight. He was already dressed. I was still sitting on the edge of his bed, my hair loose, the sheets warm behind me, the room thick with the scent of honeysuckle and rain — my scent, the one he had told me once, in a rare unguarded moment, that he could pick out from three territories away. He was standing at the window with his back to me, and something about the set of his shoulders made my wolf go very quiet inside my chest. "I'm taking Natalie Larson as my chosen mate," he said.
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Chapter 1

I knew something was wrong the moment he stopped touching me.

Colton had a way of going still that the rest of the pack had learned to fear. That absolute, pressurized stillness — no pacing, no raised voice, just the air in the room pulling tight like a wire about to snap. I had seen it used on warriors twice his size. I had never had it turned on me.

Until tonight.

He was already dressed. I was still sitting on the edge of his bed, my hair loose, the sheets warm behind me, the room thick with the scent of honeysuckle and rain — my scent, the one he had told me once, in a rare unguarded moment, that he could pick out from three territories away. He was standing at the window with his back to me, and something about the set of his shoulders made my wolf go very quiet inside my chest.

"I'm taking Natalie Larson as my chosen mate," he said. "The Silvercrest alliance requires a formal bond. The decision is made."

The words landed flat. No preamble. No softening. The same tone he used to dissolve a border dispute or reassign a warrior to a different post.

I sat very still.

"Natalie Larson," I repeated. My voice came out steady. I don't know how.

"Daughter of Alpha Larson of the Silvercrest Pack. The mating will be announced at the end of the month." He still hadn't turned around. "You'll need to vacate the cabin by the end of the week. I'll have someone arrange—"

"Colton."

He stopped.

"Did the three years mean nothing?" I asked. Softly. Just once.

The silence stretched. Outside, the wind moved through the pines. Somewhere in the pack house, a door closed.

He didn't answer.

He picked up his jacket from the chair, shrugged it on, and walked out. He didn't look back. The door didn't even slam — it closed with a quiet, final click that was somehow worse than any sound I had ever heard.

I pressed my back against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor.

My wolf howled. It was the kind of sound that fills your entire skull, every corner of it, and makes no noise at all in the room. Just inside. Just mine. She had been howling to be claimed for three years, a low, constant ache I had learned to live around the way you learn to live around a bad knee or a scar that pulls in cold weather. This was different. This was the sound she made when she understood that the thing she had been waiting for was never coming.

I pressed my hand flat against my abdomen.

Four weeks. Maybe five. I hadn't told anyone yet — not even Elara, the pack healer, though I suspected she already knew. I had been planning to tell Colton over Thanksgiving dinner. A home-cooked meal at the cabin, just the two of us, the kind of quiet human tradition I had always loved and he had always tolerated with something that looked, in the right light, like affection.

He had stood me up for the Silvercrest banquet instead.

I sat on his floor with my hand on my stomach and understood, with a clarity that felt almost peaceful in its completeness, that I was never going to tell him.

---

The cabin smelled like him.

It always did. Three years of his visits — always through the back door, always after dark, always gone before the pack stirred at dawn — had worked his scent into the walls, the furniture, the fabric of the curtains I had chosen because the color reminded me of the sky on the morning I first realized I was in love with him. I had been so careful not to examine that realization too closely. Love was not a word that fit the arrangement we had. I was not sure what word did.

I moved through the cabin slowly, touching things.

The extra mug I kept on the left side of the cabinet — his side, though he had never asked for a side, I had simply given him one. The back door with its unlocked latch. The window above the kitchen sink that I always left cracked because he ran warm and the cabin got close when he stayed past midnight.

I sat down at the kitchen table.

In my head, I had been building the Thanksgiving dinner for weeks. Nothing elaborate — roasted chicken because he preferred it to turkey, sweet potatoes, the kind of bread that takes all day and fills the whole cabin with warmth. I had been going to light candles. I had been going to tell him about the pup over dessert, when the meal was finished and the room was soft and there was nowhere to be except here.

He had sent a message that afternoon. Pack business. Silvercrest delegation. Don't wait up.

I had put the groceries away and eaten crackers standing over the sink.

Now I sat at the empty table and looked at the space where the meal would have been, and I understood that the imagined dinner — the candles, the bread smell, the words I had been rehearsing — was the last thing I would ever prepare for him. Not because I was leaving. Not yet. But because some things, once you understand them clearly enough, cannot be unprepared.

---

The banquet for Tate's return was held three days later.

I went because not going would have been noticed. I stood at the edge of the hall in a dark dress and watched Colton work the room — Alpha-smooth, Alpha-certain, his hand at the small of Natalie Larson's back like she had always belonged there. She was beautiful in the way that things built for display are beautiful: polished, precise, every detail considered. She laughed at something he said and leaned into his shoulder, and the sight of it went through me like a blade finding a gap in armor I hadn't known I was wearing.

My grip tightened on my glass.

I felt it go — the sharp, clean crack of it — before I registered the pain. The stem had snapped. A shard had opened my palm in a neat, deep line, and blood was welling up fast, dripping onto the floor, and I was standing there holding a broken glass and trying to remember how to breathe.

"Here."

A hand closed around my wrist — careful, immediate, angled to avoid the cut. I looked up.

Tate Hudson had crossed the room so quickly I hadn't seen him move. He was already pulling a folded handkerchief from his jacket pocket, pressing it against my palm with a steady, practiced pressure, his eyes on the wound rather than my face. He was younger than Colton by nearly a decade, with the same dark coloring but none of the Alpha stillness — Tate moved like someone who had decided, a long time ago, that being present was more important than being imposing.

"It's not deep," he said quietly. "But you need to keep pressure on it."

"I'm fine," I said. My voice came out smaller than I intended.

He looked up then. His eyes found mine, and something moved through them — recognition, maybe, or the particular kind of pain that comes from seeing something you already knew confirmed in front of you.

"I know," he said. He didn't move away.

Across the hall, I felt it before I saw it — that pressurized stillness, the air pulling tight. I didn't look. I didn't need to. I could feel Colton's Alpha aura pressing outward like a hand against glass, and I knew without turning that he was watching us, his jaw set, his wolf snarling at something he had no right to claim.

I kept my eyes on Tate's hands, steady and careful around mine, and I did not give Colton the satisfaction of my attention.

When I finally glanced up, he had already turned back to Natalie. He was smiling for the room.

My wolf went quiet again — not the howling quiet of grief, but something colder. Something that felt, for the first time in three years, like the beginning of understanding.

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